James Joyce


Book II

chapter 3

345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358
359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371


373 374 375 376 377 378 379 380 381 382        



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then the way I immingled my Irmenial hairmaierians ammon-
gled his Gospolis fomiliours till, achaura moucreas, I adn't the
arts to.
    TAFF (as a marrer off act, prepensing how such waldmanns from
Burnias seduced country clowns, he is preposing barangaparang
after going knowing what he is doing after to see him pluggy well
moidered as a murder effect, you bet your blowie knife, before he
doze soze, sopprused though he is
) Grot Zot! You hidn't the hurts?
Vott Fonn!
    BUTT (hearing somrother sudly give tworthree peevish sniff snuff
snoores like govalise falseleep he waitawhishts to see might he stirs
and then goes on kuldrum like without asking for pepeace or anysing
a soul
). Merzmard! I met with whom it was too late. My fate! O
hate! Fairwail! Fearwealing of the groan! And think of that
when you smugs to bagot.
    TAFF (who meanwhilome at yarn's length so as to put a nodje
in the poestcher, by wile of stoccan his hand and of rooma makin
ber getting umptyums gatherumed off the skattert,had been lavish-
ing, lagan on lighthouse, words of silent power, susu glouglou biri-
biri gongos, upon the repleted speechsalver's innkeeping right which,
thanks giveme and naperied norms nonobstaclant, there can be little
doubt, have resulted in a momstchance ministring of another guid-
ness, my good, to see
) Bompromifazzio! Shumpum for Pa-li-di
and oukosouso for the nipper dandy! Trink off this scup and be
bladdy orafferteed! To bug at?
    BUTT (he whipedoff's his chimbley phot, as lips lovecurling to the
tongueopener, he takecups the communion of sense at the hands of
the foregiver of trosstpassers and thereinofter centelinnates that
potifex miximhost with haruspical hospedariaty proferring into his
pauses somewhot salt bacon
). Theres scares knud in this gnarld
warld a fully so svend as dilates for the improvement of our
foerses of nature by your very ample solvent of referacting upon
me like is boesen fiennd.
    [The other foregotthened abbosed in the Mullingaria are
during this swishingsight teilweisioned. How the fictionable world
- 346 -
in Fruzian Creamtartery is loading off heavy furses and affubling
themselves with muckinstushes. The neatschknee Novgolosh.
How the spinach ruddocks are being tatoovatted up for the second
comings of antigreenst. Hebeneros for Aromal Peace. How
Alibey Ibrahim wisheths Bella Suora to a holy cryptmahs while
the Arumbian Knives Riders axecutes devilances round the
jehumispheure. Learn the Nunsturk. How Old Yales boys is
making rebolutions for the cunning New Yirls, never elding,
still begidding, never to mate to lend, never to ate selleries and
never to add soulleries and never to ant sulleries and never to aid
silleries with sucharow with sotchyouroff as Burkeley's Show's
a ructiongetherall. Phone for Phineal toomellow aftermorn and
your phumeral's a roselixion.
    TAFF (now as he has been past the buckthurnstock from Peadhar
Piper of Colliguchuna, whiles they all are bealting pots to dubrin
din for old daddam dombstom to tomb and wamb humbs lumbs
agamb, glimpse agam, glance agen, rise up road and hive up hill,
and find your pollyvoulley foncey pitchin ingles in the parler
). Since
you are on for versingrhetorish say your piece! How Buccleuch
shocked the rosing girnirilles. A ballet of Gasty Power. A hov
and az ov and off like a gow! And don't live out the sad of tearfs,
piddyawhick! Not offgott affsang is you, buthbach? Ath yet-
heredayth noth endeth, hay? Vaersegood! Buckle to! Sayyessik,
Ballygarry. The fourscore soculums are watchyoumaycodding
to cooll the skoopgoods blooff. Harkabuddy, feign! Thingman
placeyear howed wholst somwom shimwhir tinkledinkledelled.
Shinfine deed in the myrtle of the bog tway fainmain stod op to
slog, free bond men lay lurkin on. Tuan about whattinghim!
Fore sneezturmdrappen! 'Twill be a rpnice pschange, arrah, sir?
Can you come it, budd?
    BUTT (who in the cushlows of his goodsforseeking hoarth, ever
fondlinger of his pimple spurk, is a niallist of the ninth homestages,
the babybell in his baggutstract upper going off allatwanst, begad,
lest he should challenge himself, beygoad, till angush
). Horrasure,
toff! As said as would. It was Colporal Phailinx first. Hittit was
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of another time, a white horsday where the midril met the bulg,
sbogom, roughnow along about the first equinarx in the cholon-
der, on the plain of Khorason as thou goest from the mount of
Bekel, Steep Nemorn, elve hundred and therety and to years
how the krow flees end in deed, after a power of skimiskes,
blodidens and godinats of them, when we sight the beasts, (heg-
heg whatlk of wraimy wetter!), moist moonful date man aver
held dimsdzey death with, and higheye was in the Reilly Oirish
Krzerszonese Milesia asundurst Sirdarthar Woolwichleagues,
good tomkeys years somewhile in Crimealian wall samewhere
in Ayerland, during me weeping stillstumms over the freshprosts
of Eastchept and the dangling garters of Marrowbone and daring
my wapping stiltstunts on Bostion Moss, old stile and new style
and heave a lep onwards. And winn again, blaguadargoos, or
lues the day, plays goat, the banshee pealer, if moskats knows
whoss whizz, the great day and the druidful day come San
Patrisky and the grand day, the excellent fine splendorous long
agreeable toastworthy cylindrical day, go Sixt of the Ninth, the
heptahundread annam dammias that Hajizfijjiz ells me is and
will and was be till the timelag is in it that's told in the Bok of
Alam to columnkill all the prefacies of Erin gone brugk. But
Icantenue. And incommixtion. We was lowsome like till we'd
took out after the dead beats. So I begin to study and I soon
show them day's reasons how to give the cold shake to they
blighty perishers and lay one over the beats. All feller he look
he call all feller come longa villa finish. Toumbalo, how was
I acclapadad! From them banjopeddlars on the raid. Gidding
up me anti vanillas and getting off the stissas me aunties.
Boxerising and coxerusing. And swiping a johnny dann
sweept for to exercitise myself neverwithstanding the topkats
and his roaming cartridges, orussheying and patronning, out
all over Crummwiliam wall. Be the why it was me who haw
    TAFF (all for letting his tinder and lighting be put to beheiss in
the feuer and, while durblinly obasiant to the felicias of the skivis,
Still smolking his fulvurite turfkish in the rooking pressance of
- 348 -
laddios). Yaa hoo how how, col? Whom battles joined no bottles
sever! Worn't you aid a comp?
    BUTT (in his difficoltous tresdobremient, he feels a bitvalike a
baddlefall of staot but falls a batforlake a borrlefull of bare
). And
me awlphul omegrims! Between me rassociations in the postlea-
deny past and me disconnections with aplompervious futules
I've a boodle full of maimeries in me buzzim and medears runs
sloze, bleime, as I now with platoonic leave recoil in (how the
thickens they come back to one to rust!) me misenary post for
all them old boyars that's now boomaringing in waulholler, me
alma marthyrs. I dring to them, bycorn spirits fuselaiding, and
you cullies adjutant, even where its contentsed wody, with
absents wehrmuth. Junglemen in agleement, I give thee our
greatly swooren, Theoccupant that Rueandredful, the thrown-
fullvner and all our royal devouts with the arrest of the whole
inhibitance of Neuilands! One brief mouth. And a velligoolap-
now! Meould attashees the currgans, (if they could get a kick at
this time for all that's hapenced to us!) Cedric said Gormleyson
and Danno O'Dunnochoo and Conno O'Cannochar it is this
were their names for we were all under that manner barracksers
on Kong Gores Wood together, thurkmen three, with those
khakireinettes, our miladies in their toileries, the twum plum-
yumnietcies, Vjeras Vjenaskayas, of old Djadja Uncken who
was a great mark for jinking and junking, up the palposes of
womth and wamth, we war, and the charme of their lyse brocade.
For lispias harth a burm in eye but whem it bames fire norone
screeneth. Hulp, hulp, huzzars! Raise ras tryracy! Freetime's
free! Up Lancesters! Anathem!
    TAFF (who still senses that heavinscent houroines that enter-
trained him who they were sinuorivals from the sunny Espionia but
plied wopsy with his wallets in thatthack of the bustle Bakerloo,
(II.32), passing the uninational truthbosh in smoothing irony over
the multinotcheralled infructuosities of his grinner set
). The rib,
the rib, the quean of oldbyrdes, Sinya Sonyavitches! Your
Rhoda Cockardes that are raday to embrace our ruddy inflamtry
world! In their ohosililesvienne biribarbebeway. Till they've
- 349 -
kinks in their tringers and boils on their taws. Whor dor the pene
lie, Mer Pencho? Ist dramhead countmortial or gonorrhal stab?
Mind your pughs and keaoghs, if you piggots, marsh! Do the
nut, dingbut! Be a dag! For zahur and zimmerminnes! Sing in
the chorias to the ethur:
    [In the heliotropical noughttime following a fade of trans-
    formed Tuff and, pending its viseversion, a metenergic reglow
    of beaming Batt, the bairdboard bombardment screen, if taste-
    fully taut guranium satin, tends to teleframe and step up to
    the charge of a light barricade. Down the photoslope in syncopanc
    pulses, with the bitts bugtwug their teffs, the missledhropes,
    glitteraglatteraglutt, borne by their carnier walve. Spraygun
    rakes and splits them from a double focus: grenadite, damny-
    mite, alextronite, nichilite: and the scanning firespot of the
    sgunners traverses the rutilanced illustred sunksundered lines.
    Shlossh! A gaspel truce leaks out over the caeseine coatings.
    Amid a fluorescence of spectracular mephiticism there caoculates
    through the inconoscope stealdily a still, the figure of a fellow-
    chap in the wohly ghast, Popey O'Donoshough, the jesuneral
    of the russuates. The idolon exhibisces the seals of his orders:
    the starre of the Son of Heaven, the girtel of Izodella the Calot-
    tica, the cross of Michelides Apaleogos, the latchet of Jan of
    Nepomuk, the puffpuff and pompom of Powther and Pall, the
    great belt, band and bucklings of the Martyrology of Gorman.
    It is for the castomercies mudwake surveice. The victar. Pleace
    to notnoys speach above your dreadths, please to doughboys. Hll,
    smthngs gnwrng wthth sprsnwtch! He blanks his oggles because
    he confesses to all his tellavicious nieces. He blocks his nosoes be-
    cause that he confesses to everywheres he was always putting up his
    latest faengers. He wollops his mouther with a sword of tusk in as
    because that he confesses how opten he used be obening her howonton
    he used be undering her. He boundles alltogotter his manucupes
    with his pedarrests in asmuch as because that he confesses before
    all his handcomplishies and behind all his comfoderacies. And
    (hereis cant came back saying he codant steal no lunger, yessis,
- 350 -
    catz come buck beques he caudant stail awake) he touched upon
    this tree of livings in the middenst of the garerden for inasmuch
    as because that he confessed to it on Hillel and down Dalem and
    in the places which the lepers inhabit in the place of the stones
    and in pontofert jusfuggading amoret now he come to think of it
    jolly well ruttengenerously olyovyover the ole blucky shop. Pugger
    old Pumpey O'Dungaschiff! There will be a hen collection of him
    after avensung on the feld of Hanar. Dumble down, looties and
    gengstermen! Dtin, dtin, dtin, dtin!
    BUTT (with a gisture expansive of Mr Lhugewhite Cadderpollard
with sunflawered beautonhole pulled up point blanck by mailbag
mundaynism at Oldbally Court though the hissindensity buck far
of his melovelance tells how when he was fast marking his first
lord for cremation the whyfe of his bothem was the very lad's thing
to elter his mehind
). Prostatates, pujealousties! Dovolnoisers,
prayshyous! Defense in every circumstancias of deboutcheries
no the chaste daffs I Pack pickets, pioghs and kughs to be palsey-
putred! Be at the peme, prease, of not forgetting or mere betoken
yourself to hother prace! Correct me, pleatze commando, for
cossakes but I abjure of it. No more basquibezigues for this pole
aprican! With askormiles' eskermillas. I had my billyfell of
duckish delights the whole pukny time on rawmeots and juliannes-
with their lambstoels in my kiddeneys and my ramsbutter in
their sassenacher ribs, knee her, do her and trey her, when
th'osirian cumb dumb like the whalf on the fiord and we prey-
ing players and pinching peacesmokes, troupkers tomiatskyns
all, for Father Petrie Spence of Parishmoslattary to go and leave
us and the crimsend daun to shellalite on the darkumen (scene
as signed, Slobabogue), feeding and sleeping on the huguenottes
(the snuggest spalniel's where the lieon's tame!) and raiding
revolations over the allbegeneses (sand us and saint us and
sound as agun!). Yet still in all, spit for spat, like we chantied on
Sunda schoon, every warson wearrier kaddies a komnate in
his schnapsack and unlist I am getting foegutfulls of the rugi-
ments of savaliged wildfire I was gamefellow willmate and send
- 351 -
us victorias with nowells and brownings, dumm, sneak and
curry, and all the fun I had in that fanagan's week. A strange
man wearing abarrel. And here's a gift of meggs and teggs. And
as I live by chipping nortons. And 'tis iron fits the farmer, ay.
Arcdesedo! Renborumba! Then were the hellscyown days for
our fellows, the loyal leibsters, and we was the redugout raw-
recruitioners, praddies three and prettish too, a wheeze we has
in our waynward islands, wee engrish, one long blue streak,
jisty and pithy af durck rosolun, with hand to hand as Homard
Kayenne was always jiggilyjugging about in his wendowed
courage when our woos with the wenches went wined for a song,
tsingirillies' zyngarettes, while Woodbine Willie, so popiular
with the poppyrossies, our Chorney Choplain, blued the air.
Sczlanthas! Banzaine! Bissbasses! S. Pivorandbowl. And we all
tuned in to hear the topmast noviality. Up the revels drown the
rinks and almistips allround! Paddy Bonhamme he vives! En-
core! And tig for tag Togatogtug. My droomodose days Y loved
you abover all the strest. Blowhole brasshat and boy with his
boots off and the butch of our bunch and all. It was buckoo
bonzer, beleeme. I was a bare prive without my doglegs but I
did not give to one humpenny dump, wingh or wangh, touching
those thusengaged slavey generales of Tanah Kornalls, the
meelisha's deelishas, pronouncing their very flank movemens
in sunpictorsbosk. Baghus the whatwar! I could always take good
cover of myself and, eyedulls or earwakers, preyers for rain or
cominations, I did not care three tanker's hoots, ('sham! hem!
or chaffit!) for any feelings from my lifeprivates on their reptro-
grad leanins because I have Their Honours booth my respectables
soeurs assistershood off Lyndhurst Terrace, the puttih Misses
Celana Dalems, and she in vinting her angurr can belle the troth
on her alliance and I know His Heriness, my respeaktoble me-
dams culonelle on Mellay Street, Lightnints Gundhur Sawabs,
and they would never as the aimees of servation let me down.
Not on your bludger life, touters! No peeping, pimpadoors!
And, by Jova I never went wrong nor let him doom till, risky
wark rasky wolk, at the head of the wake, up come stumblebum
- 352 -
(ye olde cottemptable!), his urssian gemenal, in his scutt's rudes
unreformed and he went before him in that nemcon enchelonce
with the same old domstoole story and his upleave the fallener
as is greatly to be petted (whitesides do his beard!) and I seen his
brichashert offensive and his boortholomas vadnhammaggs vise
a vise them scharlot runners and how they gave love to him
and how he took the ward from us (odious the fly fly flurtation
of his him and hers! Just mairmaid maddeling it was it he was!)
and, my oreland for a rolvever, sord, by the splunthers of colt
and bung goes the enemay the Percy rally got me, messgèr, (as
true as theirs an Almagnian Gothabobus!) to blow the grand off
his aceupper. Thistake it's meest! And after meath the dulwich.
We insurrectioned and, be the procuratress of the hory synnotts,
before he could tell pullyirragun to parrylewis, I shuttm, missus,
like a wide sleever! Hump to dump! Tumbleheaver!
    TAFF (camelsensing that sonce they have given bron a nuhlan
the volkar boastsung is heading to sea vermelhion but too wellbred
not the ignore the umzemlianess of this rifal's preceedings, in an effort
towards autosotorisation, effaces himself in favour of the idiology
alwise behounding his lumpy hump off homosodalism which means
that if he has lain amain to lolly his liking-cabronne! - he may pops
lilly a young one to his herth - combrune
-) Oholy rasher, I'm be-
liever! And Oho bullyclaver of ye, bragadore-gunneral! The
grand ohold spider! It is a name to call to him Umsturdum Vonn!
Ah, you were shutter reshottus and sieger besieged. Aha race of
fiercemarchands counterination oho of shorpshoopers.
    BUTT (miraculising into the Dann Deafir warcry, his bigotes
bristling, as, jittinju triggity shittery pet, he shouts his thump and
feeh fauh foul finngures up the heighohs of their ahs!
) Bluddy-
muddymuzzle! The buckbeshottered! He'll umbozzle no more
graves nor home no haunder, lou garou, for gayl geselles in
dead men's hills! Kaptan (backsights to his bared!), His Cum-
bulent Embulence, the frustate fourstar Russkakruscam, Dom
Allah O'khorwan, connundurumchuff.
    TAFF (who, asbestas can, wiz the healps of gosh and his bluzzid
maikar, has been sulphuring to himsalves all the pungataries
- 353 -
of sin praktice in failing to furrow theogonies of the dommed).
Trisseme, the mangoat! And the name of the Most Marsiful,
the Aweghost, the Gragious one! In sobber sooth and in souber
civiles? And to the dirtiment of the curtailment of his all of man?
    BUTT (maomant scoffin, but apoxyomenously deturbaned but
thems bleachin banes will be after making a bashman's haloday out
of the euphorious hagiohygiecynicism of his die and be diademmed
Yastsar! In sabre tooth and sobre saviles! Senonnevero! That
he leaves nyet is my grafe. He deared me to it and he dared me
do it, and bedattle I didaredonit as Cocksnark of Killtork can
tell and Ussur Ursussen of the viktaurious onrush with all the
rattles in his arctic! As bold and as madhouse a bull in a meadows.
Knout Knittrick Kinkypeard! Olefoh, the sourd of foemoe
times! Unknun! For when meseemim, and tolfoklokken rolland
allover ourloud's lande, beheaving up that sob of tunf for to
claimhis, for to wollpimsolff, puddywhuck. Ay, and untuoning
his culothone in an exitous erseroyal Deo Jupto. At that instullt
to Igorladns! Prronto! I gave one dobblenotch and I ups with
my crozzier. Mirrdo! With my how on armer and hits leg an
arrow cockshock rockrogn. Sparro!

    [The abnihilisation of the etym by the grisning of the grosning
of the grinder of the grunder of the first lord of hurtreford ex-
polodotonates through Parsuralia with an ivanmorinthorrorumble
fragoromboassity amidwhiches general uttermosts confussion are
perceivable moletons skaping with mulicules which coventry
plumpkins fairlygosmotherthemselves in the Landaunelegants
of Pinkadindy. Similar scenatas are projectilised from Hullulullu,
Bawlawayo, empyreal Raum and mordern Atems. They were
precisely the twelves of clocks, noon minutes, none seconds.
At someseat of Oldanelang's Konguerrig, by dawnybreak in

    TAFF (skimperskamper, his wools gatherings all over cromlin
what with the birstol boys artheynes and is it her tour and the
crackery of the fullfour fivefirearms and the crockery of their dam
- 354 -
dam domdom chumbers). Wharall thubulbs uptheaires! Shatta-
    BUTT (pulling alast stark daniel with alest doog at doorak while
too greater than pardon painfully the issue of his mouth diminuen-
doing, vility of vilities, he becomes, allasvitally, faint
). Shurenoff!
Like Faun MacGhoul!
    BUTT and TAFF (desprot slave wager and foeman feodal un-
sheckled, now one and the same person, their fight upheld to right
for a wee while being baffled and tottered, umbraged by the shadow
of Old Erssia's magisquammythical mulattomilitiaman, the living
by owning over the surfers of the glebe whose sway craven minnions
had caused to revile, as, too foul for hell, under boiling Mauses'
burning brand, he falls by Goll's gillie, but keenheartened by the
circuminsistence of the Parkes O'Rarelys in a hurdly gurdly Cicilian
concertone of their fonngeena barney brawl, shaken everybothy's
hands, while S. E. Morehampton makes leave to E. N. Sheil-
martin after Meetinghouse Lanigan has embaraced Vergemout
Hall, and, without falter or mormor or blathrehoot of sophsterliness,
pugnate the pledge of fiannaship, dook to dook, with a commonturn
oudchd of fest man and best man astoutsalliesemoutioun palms it
off like commodity tokens against a cococancancacacanotioun
When old the wormd was a gadden and Anthea first unfoiled her
limbs wanderloot was the way the wood wagged where opter
and apter were samuraised twimbs. They had their mutthering
ivies and their murdhering idies and their mouldhering iries in
that muskat grove but there'll be bright plinnyflowers in Calo-
mella's cool bowers when the magpyre's babble towers scorching
and screeching from the ravenindove. If thees lobed the sex of
his head and mees ates the seep of his traublers he's dancing
figgies to the spittle side and shoving outs the soord. And he'll
be buying buys and go gulling gells with his flossim and jessim
of carm, silk and honey while myandthys playing lancifer lucifug
and what's duff as a bettle for usses makes coy cosyn corollanes'
moues weeter to wee. So till butagain budly shoots thon rising
germinal let bodley chow the fatt of his anger and badley bide
the toil of his tubb.
- 355 -
    [The pump and pipe pingers are ideally reconstituted. The
    putther and bowls are peterpacked up. All the presents are deter-
    mining as regards for the future the howabouts of their past
    absences which they might see on at hearing could they once smell
    of tastes from touch. To ought find a values for. The must over-
    listingness. When ex what is ungiven. As ad where. Stillhead.
    Shutmup. And bud did down well right. And if he sung dumb
in his glass darkly speech lit face to face on allaround.
    Vociferagitant. Viceversounding. Namely, Abdul Abulbul
Amir or Ivan Slavansky Slavar. In alldconfusalem. As to whom the
major guiltfeather pertained it was Hercushiccups' care to educe.
Beauty's bath she's bound to bind beholders and pride, his purge,
has place appoint in penance and the law's own libel lifts and
lames the low with the lofty. Be of the housed! While the Hersy
Hunt they harrow the hill for to rout them rollicking rogues
from, rule those racketeer romps from, rein their rockery rides
from. Rambling.
    Nightclothesed, arooned, the conquerods sway. After their
battle thy fair bosom.
That is too tootrue enough in Solidan's Island as in Mol-
tern Giaourmany and from the Amelakins off to date back to
land of engined Egypsians, assented from his opening before his
inlookers of where an oxmanstongue stalled stabled the well-
nourished one, lord of the seven days, overlord of sats and suns,
the sat of all the suns which are in the ring of his system of the
sats of his sun, god of the scuffeldfallen skillfilledfelon, who (he
contaimns) hangsters, who (he constrains) hersirrs, a gain chang-
ful, a mintage vaster, heavy on shirts, lucky with shifts, the top-
side humpup stummock atween his showdows fellah, Misto Tee
wiley Spillitshops, who keepeth watch in Khummer-Phett, whose
spouse is An-Lyph, the dog's bladder, warmer of his couch in
fore. We all, for whole men is lepers, have been nobbut won-
terers in that chill childerness which is our true name after the
allfaulters (mug's luck to em!) and, bespeaking of love and lie
detectors in venuvarities, whateither the drugs truth of it, was
- 356 -
there an iota of from the faust to the lost. And that is at most re-
doubtedly an overthrew of each and ilkermann of us, I persuade
myself, before Gow, gentlemen, so true as this are my kopfinpot
astrode on these is my boardsoldereds.
    It sollecited, grobbling hummley, his roundhouse of seven
orofaces, of all, guiltshouters or crimemummers, to be sayd by,
codnops, advices for, free of gracies, scamps encloded, com-
petitioning them, if they had steadied Jura or when they had
raced Messafissi, husband of your wifebetter or bestman botcha-
lover of you yourself, how comes ever a body in our taylorised
world to selve out thishis, whither it gives a primeum nobilees
for our notomise or naught, the farst wriggle from the ubivence,
whereom is man, that old offender, nother man, wheile he is
asame. And fullexampling. The pints in question. With some by-
spills. And sicsecs to provim hurtig. Soup's on!
A time. And a find time. Whenin aye was a kiddling. And
the tarikies held sowansopper. Let there beam a frishfrey. And
they sodhe gudhe rudhe brodhe wedhe swedhe medhe in the
kanddledrum. I have just (let us suppraise) been reading in a
(suppressed) book 
it is notwithstempting by meassures long
and limited 
the latterpress is eminently legligible and the paper,
so he eagerly seized upon, has scarsely been buttered in works of
previous publicity wholebeit in keener notcase would I turf aside
for pastureuration. Packen paper paineth whomto is sacred
scriptured sign. Who straps it scraps it that might, if ashed, have
healped. Enough, however, have I read of it, like my good bedst
friend, to augur in the hurry of the times that it will cocommend
the widest circulation and a reputation coextensive with its merits
when inthrusted into safe and pious hands upon so edifying a
mission as it, I can see, as is his. It his ambullished with expurga-
tive plates, replete in information and accampaigning the action
passiom, slopbang, whizzcrash, boomarattling from burst to
past, as I have just been seeing, with my warmest venerections,
of a timmersome townside upthecountrylifer, (Guard place the
town!) allthose everwhalmed upon that preposterous blank seat,
before the wordcraft of this early woodcutter, a master of vignett-
- 357 -
iennes and our findest grobsmid among all their orefices, (and,
shukar in chowdar, so splunderdly English!) Mr Aubeyron
Birdslay. Chubgoodchob, arsoncheep and wellwillworth a triat!
Bismillafoulties. But the hasard you asks is justly ever behind his
meddle throw! Those sad pour sad forengistanters, dastychappy
dustyrust! Chaichairs. It is that something, awe, aurorbean in that
fellow, hamid and damid, (did he have but Hugh de Brassey's
beardslie his wear mine of ancient guised) which comequeers this
anywhat perssian which we, owe, realisinus with purups a dard
of pene. There is among others pleasons whom I love and which
are favourests to mind, one which I have pushed my finker in for
the movement and, but for my sealring is none to hand I swear,
she is highly catatheristic and there is another which I have
fombly fongered freequuntly and, when my signet is on sign
again I swear, she is deeply sangnificant. Culpo de Dido! Ars we
say in the classies. Kunstful, we others said. What ravening shadow!
What dovely line! Not the king of this age could richlier eyefeast
in oreillental longuardness with alternate nightjoys of a thousand
kinds but one kind. A shahrryar cobbler on me when I am lying!
And whilst (when I doot my sliding panel and I hear cawcaw) I
have been idylly turmbing over the loose looves leaflefts jaggled
casuallty on the lamatory, as is my this is, as I must commit
my lips to make misface for misfortune, often, so far as I can
chance to recollect from the some farnights ago, (so dimsweet is
that selvischdischdienence of to not to be able to be obliged to
have to hold further anything than a stone his throw's fruit's
fall!) when I, if you wil excuse for me this informal leading down
of illexpressibles, enlivened toward the Author of Nature by the
natural sins liggen gobelimned theirs before me, (how differen-
ded with the manmade Eonochs Cunstuntonopolies!), weather-
ed they be of a general golf stature, assasserted, or blossomly
emblushing thems elves underneed of some howthern folleys,
am entrenched up contemplating of myself, wiz my naked I, for
relieving purposes in our trurally virvir vergitabale (garden) I
sometimes, maybe, what has justly said of old Flannagan, a wake
from this or huntsfurwards, with some shock (shell I so render
- 358 -
it?) have (when I ope my shylight window and I see coocoo) a
notion quiet involuptary of that I am cadging hapsnots as at
murmurrandoms of distend renations from ficsimilar phases or
dugouts in the behindscenes of our earthwork (what rovining
shudder! what deadly loom!) as this is, at no spatial time pro-
cessly which regards to concrude chronology about which in
fact, at spite of I having belittled myself to my gay giftname of
insectarian, happy burgages abeyance would make homesweets-
town hopeygoalucrey, my mottu propprior, as I claim, cad's
truck, I coined, I am highly pelaged and deeply gluttened to
mind hindmost hearts to see by their loudest reports from my
threespawn bottery parts (shsh!) that, colombophile and corvino-
phobe alike, when I have remassed me, my travellingself, as from
Magellanic clouds, after my contractual expenditures, through
the perofficies of merelimb, I, my good grief, I am, I am big
    He beached the bark of his tale; and set to husband and vine:
and the harpermaster told all the living conservancy, know
Meschiameschianah, how that win a gain was in again. Flying
the Perseoroyal. Withal aboarder, padar and madar, hal and sal,
the sens of Ere with the duchtars of Iran. Amick amack amock in
a mucktub. Qith the tou loulous and the gryffygryffygryffs, at
Fenegans Wick, the Wildemanns. Washed up whight and de-
liveried rhight. Loud lauds to his luckhump and bejetties on jo-
nahs! And they winxed and wanxed like baillybeacons. Till we
woksed up oldermen.
    From whose plultibust preaggravated, by baskatchairch theo-
logies (there werenighn on thaurity herouns in that alraschil
arthouducks draken), they were whoalike placed to say, in the
matters off ducomans nonbar one, with bears' respects to him and
bulls' acknowledgments (come on now, girls! lead off, O cara,
whichever won of you wins! The two Gemuas and Jane Agrah
and Judy Tombuys!) disassembling and taking him apart, the
slammocks, with discrimination for his maypole and a rub in
passing over his hump, drogueries inaddendance, frons, fesces
and frithstool: 1) he hade to die it, the beetle, 2) he didhithim self,
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hod's fush, 3) all ever the pelican huntered with truly fond bull-
pen backthought since his toork human life where his personal
low outhired his taratoryism, the orenore under the selfhide of his
bessermettle, was forsake in his chiltern and lumbojumbo, 4) he
was like Fintan fore flood and after sometimes too damned
merely often on the saved side, saw he was, 5) regarding to
prussyattes or quazzyverzing he wassand no better than he would
have been before he could have been better than what he warrant
after, 6) blood, musk or haschish, as coked, diamoned or pence-
loid, and bleaching him naclenude from all cohlorine matter,
down to a boneash bittstoff, he's, tink fors tank, the same old
dustamount on the same old tincoverdull baubleclass, totstitty-
winktosser and bogusbagwindburster, whether fitting tyres onto
Danelope boys or fluttering flaus for laurettas, whatever the
bucket brigade and the plug party says, touchant Arser of the
Rum Tipple and his camelottery and lyonesslooting but with a
layaman's brutstrenth, by Jacohob and Esahur and the all saults
or all sallies, what we warn to hear, jeff, is the woods of chirpsies
cries to singaloo sweecheeriode and sock him up, the oldcant
    Group A.
    You have jest (a ham) beamed listening through (a ham pig)
his haulted excerpt from John Whiston's fiveaxled production,
The Coach With The Six Insides, from the Tales of Yore of the
times gone by before there was a hofdking or a hoovthing or a
pinginapoke in Oreland, all sould. Goes Tory by Eeric Whigs is
To Become Tintinued in Fearson's Nightly in the Lets All Wake
Brickfaced In Lucan. Lhirondella, jaunty lhirondella! With tirra
lirra rondinelles, atantivy we go!
    Attention! Stand at!! Ease!!!
    We are now diffusing among our lovers of this sequence (to
you! to you!) the dewfolded song of the naughtingels (Alys!
Alysaloe!) from their sheltered positions, in rosescenery hay-
dyng, on the heather side of waldalure, Mount Saint John's,
Jinnyland, whither our allies winged by duskfoil from Moore-
parque, swift sanctuary seeking, after Sunsink gang (Oiboe!
- 360 -
Hitherzither! Almost dotty! I must dash!) to pour their peace in
partial (floflo floreflorence), sweetishsad lightandgayle, twittwin
twosingwoolow. Let everie sound of a pitch keep still in reson-
ance, jemcrow, jackdaw, prime and secund with their terce that
whoe betwides them, now full theorbe, now dulcifair, and when
we press of pedal (sof!) pick out and vowelise your name.
A mum. You pere Golazy, you mere Bare and you Bill Heeny, and
you Smirky Dainty and, more beethoken, you wheckfoolthe-
nairyans with all your badchthumpered peanas! We are gluck-
glucky in our being so far fortunate that, bark and bay duol with
Man Goodfox inchimings having ceased to the moment, so allow
the clinkars of our nocturnefield, night's sweetmoztheart, their
Carmen Sylvae, my quest, my queen. Lou must wail to cool me
airly! Coil me curly, warbler dear! May song it flourish (in the
underwood), in chorush, long make it flourish (in the Nut, in the
Nutsky) till thorush! Secret Hookup.
Roguenaar Loudbrags, that soddy old samph! How high
is vuile, var?
    To which yes he did, capt, that was the answer.
And his shartshort trooping its colours! We knows his
    Which that that rang ripprippripplying.
Bulbul, bulbulone! I will shally. Thou shalt willy. You wouldnt
should as youd remesmer. I hypnot. 'Tis golden sickle's hour.
Holy moon priestess, we'd love our grappes of mistellose! Moths
the matter? Pschtt! Tabarins comes. To fell our fairest. O gui, O
gui! Salam, salms, salaum! Carolus! O indeed and we ware! And
hoody crow was ere. I soared from the peach and Missmolly
showed her pear too, onto three and away. Whet the bee as to
deflowret greendy grassies yellowhorse. Kematitis, cele our er-
dours! Did you aye, did you eye, did you everysee suchaway,
suchawhy, eeriewhigg airywhugger? Even to the extremity of
the world? Dingoldell! The enormanous his, our littlest little!
Wee wee, that long alancey one! Let sit on this anthill for our
frilldress talk after this day of making blithe inveiled the heart
before our groatsupper serves to us Panchomaster and let har-
- 361 -
leqwind play peeptomine up all our colombinations! Wins
won is nought, twigs too is nil, tricks trees makes nix, fairs fears
stoops at nothing. And till Arthur comes againus and sen pea-
trick's he's reformed we'll pose him together a piece, a pace.
Shares in guineases! There's lovely the sight! Surey me, man
weepful! Big Seat, you did hear? And teach him twisters in
tongue irish. Pat lad may goh too. Quicken, aspen; ash and yew;
willow, broom with oak for you. And move your tellabout. Not
nice is that, limpet lady! Spose we try it promissly. Love all.
Naytellmeknot tennis! Taunt me treattening! But do now say to
Mr Eustache! Ingean mingen has to hear. Whose joint is out of
jealousy now? Why, heavilybody's evillyboldy's. Hopping Gra-
cius, onthy ovful! O belessk mie, what a nerve! How a mans in
his armor we nurses know. Wingwong welly, pitty pretty Nelly!
Some Poddy pitted in, will anny petty pullet out? Call Kitty
Kelly! Kissykitty Killykelly! What a nossowl buzzard! But what
a neats ung gels!
    Here all the leaves alift aloft, full o'liefing, fell alaughing over
Ombrellone and his parasollieras with their black thronguards
from the County Shillelagh. Ignorant invincibles, innocents im-
mutant! Onzel grootvatter Lodewijk is onangonamed before the
bridge of primerose and his twy Isas Boldmans is met the bluey-
bells near Dandeliond. We think its a gorsedd shame, these go-
doms. A lark of limonladies! A lurk of orangetawneymen! You're
backleg wounted, budkley mister, bester of the boyne!
    And they leaved the most leavely of leaftimes and the most
folliagenous till there came the marrer of mirth and the jangthe-
rapper of all jocolarinas and they were as were they never ere.
Yet had they laughtered, one on other, undo the end and enjoyed
their laughings merry was the times when so grant it High Hila-
rion us may too!
    Cease, prayce, storywalkering around with gestare romano-
verum he swinking about is they think and plan unrawil
    Back to Droughty! The water of the face has flowed.
    The all of them, the sowriegueuxers, blottyeyed boys, in that
- 362 -
pig's village smoke, a sixdigitarian legion on druid circle, the
Clandibblon clam cartel, then pulled out and came off and rally
agreed them, roasted malts with toasted burleys, in condomnation
of his totomptation and for the duration till his repepulation,
upon old nollcromforemost ironsides, as camnabel chieftain, since,
as Sammon trowed to explain to summon, seeing that, as he had
contracted out of islands empire, he might as coolly have rolled
to school call, tarponturboy, a grampurpoise, the manyfathom
brinegroom with the fortyinch bride, out of the cuptin klanclord
kettle auction like the soldr of a britsh he was bound to be and
become till the sea got him whilask, from maker to misses and
what he gave was as a pattern, he, that hun of a horde, is a finn
as she, his tent wife, is a lap, at home on a steed, abroad by the
fire (to say nothing of him having done whatyouknow howyou-
saw whenyouheard whereyouwot, the kenspeckled souckar,
generose as cocke, greediguss with garzelle, uprighter of age and
most umbrasive of yews all, under heaviest corpsus exemption)
and whoasever spit her in howsoever's fondling saving her
keepers that mould the bould she sould to hould the wine that
wakes the barley, the peg in his pantry to hold the heavyache off
his heart. The droll delight of deemsterhood, a win from the
wood to bond. Like the bright lamps, Thamamahalla, yearin out
yearin. Auspicably suspectable but in expectancy of respectable-
ness. From dirty flock bedding, drip dropping through the ceil-
ing, with two sisters of charities on the front steps and three eva-
cuan cleansers at the back gaze, single box and pair of chairs
(suspectable), occasionally and alternatively used by husband
when having writing to do in connection with equitable druids
and friendly or other societies through periods of dire want with
comparative plenty (thunderburst, ravishment, dissolution and
providentiality) to a sofa allbeit of hoarsehaar with Amodicum
cloth, hired payono, still playing off, used by the youngsters for
czurnying out oldstrums, three bedrooms upastairs, of which
one with fireplace (aspectable), with greenhouse in prospect (par-
ticularly perspectable).
    And you, when you kept at Dulby, were you always (for that
- 363 -
time only) what we knew how when we (from that point solely)
were you know where? There you are! And why? Why, hitch a
cock eye, he was snapped on the sly upsadaisying coras pearls
out of the pie when all the perts in princer street set up their
tinker's humn, (the rann, the rann, that keen of old bards), with
them newnesboys pearcin screaming off their armsworths. The
boss made dovesandraves out of his bucknesst while herself
wears the bowler's hat in her bath. Deductive Almayne Rogers
disguides his voice, shetters behind hoax chestnote from exexive.
Heat wives rasing. They jest keeps rosing. He jumps leaps rizing.
    You known that tom? I certainly know. Is their bann boths-
tiesed? Saddenly now. Has they bane reneemed? Soothinly low.
Does they ought to buy the papelboy when he footles up their
suit? He's their mark to foil the flouter and they certainty
    He sprit in his phiz (baccon!). He salt to their bis (pudden!).
He toockled her palam (so calam is solom!). And he suked their
friends' leave (bonnick lass, fair weal!)
Guilty but fellows culpows! It was felt by me sindeade, that
submerged doughdoughty doubleface told waterside labourers.
But since we for athome's health have chanced all that, the wild
whips, the wind ships, the wonderlost for world hips, unto their
foursquare trust prayed in aid its plumptylump piteousness
which, when it turtled around seeking a thud of surf, spake to
approach from inherdoff trisspass through minxmingled hair.
Though I may have hawked it, said, and selled my how hot peas
after theactrisscalls from my imprecurious position and though
achance I could have emptied a pan of backslop down drain by
whiles of dodging a rere from the middenprivet appurtenant
thereof, salving the presents of the board of wumps and pumps,
I am ever incalpable, where release of prisonals properly is con-
cerned, of unlifting upfallen girls wherein dangered from them
in thereopen out of unadulteratous bowery, with those hintering
influences from an angelsexonism. It was merely my barely till
their oh offs. Missaunderstaid. Meggy Guggy's giggag. The
- 364 -
code's proof! The rebald danger with they who would bare white-
ness against me I dismissem from the mind of good. He can tell
such as story to the Twelfth Maligns that my first was a nurss-
maid and her fellower's a willbe perambulatrix. There are twingty
to twangty too thews and leathermail coatschemes penparing to
hostpost for it valinnteerily with my valued fofavour to the post
puzzles deparkment with larch parchels' of presents for future
branch offercings. The green approve the raid! Shaum Baum's
bode he is amustering in the groves while his shool comes merg-
ing along! Want I put myself in their kirtlies I were ayearn to
leap with them and show me too bisextine. Dear and lest I for-
get mergers and bow to you low, marchers! Attemption! What
a mazing month of budsome misses they are making, so wingty-
wish to flit beflore their kin! Attonsure! Ears to hears! The skall
of a gall (for every dime he yawpens that momouth you could
park your ford in it) who has papertreated him into captivities
with his inside man by a hocksheat of starvision for an avrageto-
peace of parchment, cooking up his lenses to be my apoclogypst,
the recreuter of conscraptions, let him be asservent to Kinahaun!
For (peace peace perfectpeace!) I have abwaited me in a water of
Elin and I have placed my reeds intectis before the Registower of
the perception of tribute in the hall of the city of Analbe. How
concerns any merryaunt and hworsoever gravesobbers it is
perensempry sex of fun to help a dazzle off the othour. What for
Mucias and Gracias may the duvlin rape the handsomst! And the
whole mad knightmayers' nest! Tunpother, prison and plotch!
If Y shoulden somewhat, well, I am able to owe it, hearth and chem
ney easy. They seeker for vannflaum all worldins merkins. I'll
eager make lyst turpidump undher arkens. Basast! And if my liti-
gimate was well to wrenn tigtag cackling about it, like the sally
berd she is, to abery ham in the Cutey Strict, (I shall call upon
my first among my lost of lyrars beyond a jingoobangoist, to
overcast her) dismissing mundamanu all the riflings of her vic-
tuum gleaner (my old chuck! she drakes me druck! turning out,
gay at ninety!) and well shoving off a boastonmess like lots wives
does over her handpicked hunsbend, as she would be calling, well,
- 365 -
for further oil mircles upon all herwayferer gods and reanounc-
ing my deviltries as was I a locally person of caves until I got my
purchase on her firmforhold I am, I like to think, by their sacre-
ligion of daimond cap daimond, confessedly in my baron gentil-
homme to the manhor bourne till ladiest day as panthoposopher,
to have splet for groont a peer of bellows like Bacchulus shakes a
rousing guttural at any old cerpaintime by peaching (allsole we
are not amusical) the warry warst against myself in the defile as
a lieberretter sebaiscopal of these mispeschyites of the first virgi-
nial water who, without an auction of biasement from my part,
with gladyst tone ahquickyessed in it, overhowe and under-
where, the totty lolly poppy flossy conny dollymaukins! Though
I heave a coald on my bauck and am could up to my eres hoven
sametimes I used alltides to be aswarmer for the meekst and the
graced. You are not going to not. You might be threeabreasted
wholenosing at a whallhoarding from our Don Amir anent villa-
yets prostatution precisingly kuschkars tarafs and it could be
double densed uncounthest hour of allbleakest age with a bad of
wind and a barran of rain, nompos mentis like Novus Elector, what
with his Marx and their Groups, yet did a doubt, should a dare,
were to you, you would do and dhamnk me, shenker, dhumnk you.
Skunk. And fare with me to share with me. Hinther and thonther,
hant by hont. By where dauvening shedders down whose rovely
lanes. As yose were and as yese is. Sure and you would, Mr Mac
Gurk! Be sure and you would, Mr O'Duane! To be sure and you
would so, Mr MacElligut! Wod you nods? Mom mom. No mum
has the rod to pud a stub to the lurch of amotion. My little love
apprencisses, my dears, the estelles, van Nessies von Nixies voon
der pool, which I had a reyal devouts for yet was it marly lowease
or just a feel with these which olderman K.K. Alwayswelly he
is showing ot the fullnights for my palmspread was gav to a
parsleysprig, the curliest weedeen old ocean coils around, so spruce
a spice for salthorse, sonnies, and as tear to the thrusty as Tay-
lor's Spring, when aftabournes, when she was look like a little
cheayat chilled (Oh sard! ah Mah!) by my tide impracing, as
Beacher seath, and all the colories fair fled from my folced cheeks!
- 366 -
Popottes, where you canceal me you mayst forced guage my
bribes. Wickedgapers, I appeal against the light! A nexistence of
vividence! Panto, boys, is on a looser inloss; ballet, girls, suppline
thrown tights. I have wanted to thank you such a long time so
much now. Thank you. Sir, kindest of bottleholders and very dear
friend, among our hearts of steel, froutiknow, it will befor you,
me dare beautiful young soldier, winninger nor anyour of rudi-
mental moskats, before you go to mats, you who have watched
your share with your sockboule sodalists on your buntad nogs at
our love tennis squats regatts, suckpump, when on with the balls
did disserve the fain, my goldrush gainst her silvernetss, to say,
biguidd, for the love of goddess and perthanow as you reveres
your one mothers, mitsch for matsch, and while I reveal thus my
deepseep daughter which was bourne up pridely out of meds-
dreams unclouthed when I was pillowing in my brime (of Satur-
nay Eve, how now, woren't we't?), to see, I say, whoahoa, in stay
of execution in re Milcho Melekmans, increaminated, what you
feel, oddrabbit, upon every strong ground you have ever taken
up, by bitterstiff work or battonstaff play, with assault of turk
against a barrakraval of grakeshoots, e'en tho' Jambuwel's defe-
calties is Terry Shimmyrag's upperturnity, if that is grace for the
grass what is balm for the bramblers, as it is as it is, that I am the
catasthmatic old ruffin sippahsedly improctor to be seducint tro-
vatellas, the dire daffy damedeaconesses, like (why sighs the
sootheesinger) the lilliths oft I feldt, and, when booboob brutals
and cautiouses only aims at the oggog hogs in the humand, then,
(Houtes, Blymey and Torrenation, upkurts and scotchem!) I'll
tall tale tell croon paysecurers, sowill nuggets and nippers, that
thash on me stumpen blows the gaff off mombition and thit thides
or marse makes a good dayle to be shattat. Fall stuff.
    His rote in ere, afstef, was.
    And dong wonged Magongty till the bombtomb of the warr,
thrusshed in his whole soort of cloose.
    Whisht who wooed in Weald, bays of Bawshaw binding. The
desire of Miriam is the despair of Marian as Joh Joseph's beauty
is Jacq Jacob's grief. Brow, tell nun; eye, feign sad; mouth, sing
- 367 -
mim. Look at Lokman! Whatbetween the cupgirls and the
platterboys. And he grew back into his grossery baseness: and
for all his grand remonstrance: and there you are.
    Here endeth chinchinatibus with have speak finish. With a
haygue for a halt on a pouncefoot panse. Pink, pleas pink, two
pleas pink, how to pleas pink.
    Mask one. Mask two. Mask three. Mask four.
Look about you, Tutty Comyn!
Remember and recall, Kullykeg!
When visiting Dan Leary try the corner house for thee.
I'll gie ye credit for simmence more if ye'll be lymphing.
Our four avunculusts.
    And, since threestory sorratelling was much too many, they
maddened and they morgued and they lungd and they jowld.
Synopticked on the word.
Till the Juke done it.
    Like Jukoleon, the seagoer, when he bore down in his perry
boat he had raised a slide and shipped his orders and seized his
pullets and primed their plumages, the fionnling and dubhlet, the
dun and the fire, and, sending them one by other to fare fore forn,
he had behold the residuance of a delugion: the foggy doze still
going strong, the old thalassocrats of invinsible empores, maskers
of the waterworld, facing one way to another way and this way
on that way, from severalled their fourdimmansions. Where the
lighning leaps from the numbulous; where coold by cawld breide
lieth langwid; the bounds whereinbourne our solied bodies all
attomed attaim arrest: appoint, that's all. But see what follows.
Wringlings upon wronglings among incomputables about an
uncomeoutable (an angel prophetethis? kingcorrier of beheasts?
the calif in his halifskin? that eyriewinging one?) and the voids
bubbily vode's dodos across the which the boomomouths from
their dupest dupes were in envery and anononously blowing
- 368 -
    Keep backwards, please, because there was no good to gundy
running up again. Guns. And it was written up in big capital.
Guns. Saying never underrupt greatgrandgosterfosters! Guns.
And whatever one did they said, the fourlings, that on no acounts
you were not to. Guns.
    Not to pad them behaunt in the fear. Not to go, tonnerwatter,
and bungley well chute the rising gianerant. Not to wandly be
woking around jerumsalemdo at small hours about the murketplots,
smelling okey boney, this little figgy and arraky belloky this little
pink into porker but, porkodirto, to let the gentlemen pedesta-
rolies out of the Monabella culculpuration live his own left leave,
cullebuone, by perperusual of the petpubblicities without inwok-
ing his also's between (sic) the arraky bone and (suc) the okey
bellock. And not to not be always, hemmer and hummer, treeing
unselves up with one exite but not to never be caving nicely, pre-
cisely, quicely, rebustly, tendrolly, unremarkably, forsakenly, hal-
tedly, reputedly, firstly, somewhatly, yesayenolly about the back
excits. Never to weaken up in place of the broths. Never to vvol-
lusslleepp in the pleece of the poots. And, allerthings, never to ate
the sour deans if they weren't having anysin on their consients.
And, when in Zumschloss, to never, narks, cease till the finely
ending was consummated by the completion of accomplishment.
    And thus within the tavern's secret booth The wisehight ones
who sip the tested sooth Bestir them as the Just has bid to jab The
punch of quaram on the mug of truth.
    K.C. jowls, they're sodden in the secret. K.C. jowls, they sure
are wise. K.C. jowls, the justicestjobbers, for they'll find another
faller if their ruse won't rise. Whooley the Whooper.
    There is to see. Squarish large face with the atlas jacket. Brights,
brownie eyes in bluesackin shoeings. Peaky booky nose over a
lousiany shirt. Ruddy stackle hair besides a strawcamel belt.
Namely. Gregorovitch, Leonocopolos, Tarpinacci and Duggel-
duggel. And was theys stare all atime? Yea but they was. Andor-
ing the games, induring the studies, undaring the stories, end all.
Ned? Only snugged then and cosied after one percepted nought
- 369 -
while tuffbettle outraged the waywords and meansigns of their
hinterhand suppliesdemands. And be they gone to splane splica-
tion? That host that hast one on the hoose when backturns when
he facefronts none none in the house his geust has guest. You bet
they is. And nose well down.
    With however what sublation of compensation in the radifica-
tion of interpretation by the byeboys? Being they. Mr G. B. W.
Ashburner, S. Bruno's Toboggan Drive, Mr Faixgood, Bell-
chimbers, Carolan Crescent, Mr I. I. Chattaway, Hilly Gape,
Poplar Park, Mr Q. P. Dieudonney, The View, Gazey Peer,
Mr T. T. Erchdeakin, Multiple Lodge, Jiff Exby Rode, Mr W. K.
Ferris-Fender, Fert Fort, Woovil Doon Botham ontowhom
adding the tout that pumped the stout that linked the lank that
cold the sandy that nextdoored the rotter that rooked the rhymer
that lapped at the hoose that Joax pilled.
    They had heard or had heard said or had heard said written.
    That there first a rudrik kingcomed to an inn court; and the
seight of that yard was a perchypole with a loovahgloovah on it;
last mannarks maketh man when wandshift winneth womans: so
how would it hum, whoson of a which, if someof aswas to start
to stunt the story on?
    So many needles to ponk out to as many noodles as are com-
pany, they noddling all about it tutti to tempo, decumans numbered
too, (a) well, that the secretary bird, better known as Pandoria
Paullabucca, whom they thought was more like a solicitor general,
indiscriminatingly made belief mid authorsagastions from Schelm
the Pelman to write somewords to Senders about her chilikin
puck, laughing that Poulebec would be the death of her, (b) that,
well, that Madges Tighe, the postulate auditressee, when her
daremood's a grownian, is always on the who goes where, hoping
to Michal for the latter to turn up with a cupital tea before her
ephumeral comes off without any much father which is parting
parcel of the same goumeral's postoppage, it being lookwhyse on
the whence blows weather helping mickle so that the loiter end of
that leader may twaddle out after a cubital lull with a hopes soon
- 370 -
to ear, comprong? (c) becakes the goatsman on question, or what-
ever the hen the bumbler was, feeling not up to scratch bekicks
of whatever the kiddings Payne Inge and Popper meant for him,
thoughy onced at a throughlove, true grievingfrue danger, as a
nirshe persent to his minstress, devourced the pair of them
Mather Caray's chucklings, pante blanche, and skittered his litters
like the cavaliery man in Cobra Park for ungeborn yenkelmen,
Jeremy Trouvas or Kepin O'Keepers, any old howe and any old
then and when around Dix Dearthy Dungbin, remarking sceni-
cally with laddylike lassitude upon what he finally postscrapped,
(d) after it's so long till I thanked you about I do so much now
thank you so very much as you introduced me to fourks, (e) will,
these remind to be sane? (f) Fool step! Aletheometry? Or just
zoot doon floon?
    Nut it out, peeby eye! Onamassofmancynaves.
    But. Top.
    You were in the same boat of yourselves too, Getobodoff or
Treamplasurin; and you receptionated the most diliskious of
milisk; which it all flowowered your drooplin dunlearies: but
dribble a drob went down your rothole. Meaning, Kelly, Grimes,
Phelan, Mollanny, O'Brien, MacAlister, Sealy, Coyle, Hynes-
Joynes, Naylar-Traynor, Courcy de Courcy and Gilligan-Goll.
    Stunner of oddstodds on bluebleeding boarhorse! What
soresen's head subrises thus tous out of rumpumplikun oak with,
well, we cannot say whom we are looking like through his now-
face? It is of Noggens whilk dusts the bothsides of the seats of the
bigslaps of the bogchaps of the porlarbaar of the marringaar of the
Lochlunn gonlannludder of the feof of the foef of forfummed
    Boumce! It is polisignstunter. The Sockerson boy. To pump
the fire of the lewd into those soulths of bauchees, havsouse-
dovers, tillfellthey deadwar knootvindict. An whele time he was
rancing there smutsy floskons nodunder ycholerd for their
poopishers, ahull onem Fyre maynoother endnow! Shatten up
ship! Bouououmce! Nomo clandoilskins cheakinlevers! All
ashored for Capolic Gizzards! Stowlaway there, glutany of
- 371 -
stainks! Porterfillyers and spirituous suncksters, oooom oooom!
    As these vitupetards in his boasum he did strongleholder,
bushbrows, nobblynape, swinglyswanglers, sunkentrunk, that
from tin of this clucken hadded runced slapottleslup. For him
had hord from fard a piping. As? Of?
    Dour douchy was a sieguldson. He cooed that loud nor he
was young. He cud bad caw nor he was gray Like wather parted
from the say.
    Ostia, lift it! Lift at it, Ostia! From the say! Away from the say!
    Himhim. Himhim.
    Hearhasting he, himmed, reromembered all the chubbs, chipps,
chaffs, chuckinpucks and chayney chimebells That he had mistri-
buted in port, pub, park, pantry and poultryhouse, While they,
thered, the others, that are, were most emulously concerned to
cupturing the last dropes of summour down through their
grooves of blarneying. Ere the sockson locked at the dure. Which
he would, shuttinshure. And lave them to sture.
    For be all rules of sport 'tis right That youth bedower'd to
charm the night Whilst age is dumped to mind the day When
wather parted from the say.
    The humming, it's coming. Insway onsway.
    Fingool MacKishgmard Obesume Burgearse Benefice, He was
bowen hem and scrapin him in recolcitrantament to the right-
about And these probenopubblicoes clamatising for an extinsion
on his hostillery With his chargehand bombing their eres. Tids,
genmen, plays, she been goin shoother off almaynoother on-
    You here nort farwellens rouster? Ashiffle ashuffle the wayve
    From Dancingtree till Suttonstone There's lads no lie would
filch a crown To mull their sack and brew their tay With wather
parted from the say.
    Lelong Awaindhoo's a selverbourne enrouted to Rochelle
Lane and liberties those Mullinguard minstrelsers are marshal-
sing, par tunepiped road, under where, perked on hollowy hill, that
poor man of Lyones, good Dook Weltington, hugon come er-
- 372 -
rindwards, had hircomed to the belles bows and been cutat-
trapped by the mausers. Now is it town again, londmear of Dub-
lin! And off coursse the toller, ples the dotter of his eyes with
her: Moke the Wanst, whye doe we aime alike a pose of poeter
peaced? While the dumb he shoots the shopper rope. And they
all pour forth. Sans butly Tuppeter Sowyer, the rouged engene-
rand, a barttler of the beauyne, still our benjamin liefest, some-
time frankling to thise citye, whereas bigrented him a piers half
subporters for his arms, Josiah Pipkin, Amos Love, Raoul Le Feb-
ber, Blaize Taboutot, Jeremy Yopp, Francist de Loomis, Hardy
Smith and Sequin Pettit followed by the snug saloon seanad of
our Cafè Bèranger. The scenictutors.
    Because they wonted to get out by the goatweigh afore the sheep
was looset for to wish the Wobbleton Whiteleg Welshers kailly-
kailly kellykekkle and savebeck to Brownhazelwood from all the
dinnasdoolins on the labious banks of their swensewn snewwes-
ner, turned again weastinghome, by Danesbury Common, and
they onely, duoly, thruely, fairly after rainydraining founty-
buckets (chalkem up, hemptyempty!) till they caught the wind
abroad (alley loafers passinggeering!) all the rockers on the
roads and all the boots in the stretes.
    Oh dere! Ah hoy!
    Last ye, lundsmin, hasty hosty! For an anondation of miri-
fication and the lutification of our paludination.
    His bludgeon's bruk, his drum is tore. For spuds we'll keep the
hat he wore And roll in clover on his clay By wather parted
from the say.
    Hray! Free rogue Mountone till Dew Mild Well to corry awen
and glowry! Are now met by Brownaboy Fuinnninuinn's former
for a lyncheon partyng of his burgherbooh. The Shanavan
Wacht. Rantinroarin Batteries Dorans. And that whistling thief,
O' Ryne O'Rann. With a catch of her cunning like and nowhere
a keener.
    The for eolders were aspolootly at their wetsend in the mailing
waters, trying to. Hide! Seek! Hide! Seek! Because number one
lived at Bothersby North and he was trying to. Hide! Seek! Hide!
- 373 -
Seek! And number two digged up Poors Coort, Soother, trying
to. Hide! Seek! Hide! Seek! And nomber three he sleeped with
Lilly Tekkles at The Eats and he was trying to. Hide! Seek!
Hide! Seek! And the last with the sailalloyd donggie he was
berthed on the Moherboher to the Washte and they were all try-
ing to and baffling with the walters of, hoompsydoompsy walters
of. High! Sink! High! Sink! Highohigh! Sinkasink!
    The gangstairs strain and anger's up As Hoisty rares the can
and cup To speed the bogre's barque away O'er wather parted
from the say.
    Horkus chiefest ebblynuncies!
He shook be ashaped of hempshelves, hiding that shepe in
his goat. And for rassembling so bearfellsed the magreedy
prince of Roger. Thuthud. Heigh hohse, heigh hohse, our kin-
dom from an orse! Bruni Lanno's woollies on Brani Lonni's
hairyparts. And the hunk in his trunk it would be an insalt foul
the matter of that cellaring to a pigstrough. Stop his laysense.
Ink him! You would think him Alddaublin staking his lordsure like
a gourd on puncheon. Deblinity devined. Wholehunting the pairk
on a methylogical mission whenever theres imberillas! And call-
ing Rina Roner Reinette Ronayne. To what mine answer is a
lemans. Arderleys, beedles and postbillers heard him. Three
points to one. Ericus Vericus corrupted into ware eggs. Dummy
up, distillery! Broree aboo! Run him a johnsgate down jameses-
lane. Begetting a wife which begame his niece by pouring her
youngthings into skintighs. That was when he had dizzy spells.
Till Gladstools Pillools made him ride as the mall. Thanks to his
huedobrass beerd. Lodenbroke the Longman, now he canseels
under veerious persons but is always that Rorke relly! On con-
sideration for the musickers he ought to have down it. Pass out
your cheeks, why daunt you! Penalty, please! There you'll know
how warder barded the bollhead that parssed our alley. We just
are upsidedown singing what ever the dimkims mummur alla-
lilty she pulls inner out heads. This is not the end of this by no
manners means. When you've bled till you're bone it crops out
- 374 -
in your flesh. To tell how your mead of, mard, is made of. All old
Dadgerson's dodges one conning one's copying and that's what
wonderland's wanderlad'll flaunt to the fair. A trancedone boy-
script with tittivits by. Ahem. You'll read it tomorrow, marn,
when the curds on the table. A nigg for a nogg and a thrate for
a throte. The auditor learns. Still pumping on Torkenwhite Rad-
lumps, Lencs. In preplays to Anonymay's left hinted palinode
obviously inspiterebbed by a sibspecious connexion. Note the
notes of admiration! See the signs of suspicion! Count the hemi-
semidemicolons! Screamer caps and invented gommas, quoites
puntlost, forced to farce! The pipette will say anything at all for
a change. And you know what aglove means in the Murdrus due-
luct! Fewer to feud and rompant culotticism, a fugle for the glee-
men and save, sit and sew. And a pants outsizinned on the
Doughertys' duckboard pointing to peace at home. In some,
lawanorder on lovinardor. Wait till we hear the Boy of Biskop
reeling around your postoral lector! Epistlemadethemology for
deep dorfy doubtlings. As we'll lay till break of day in the bunk of
basky, O! Our island, Rome and duty! Well tried, buckstiff! Batt
in, boot! Sell him a breach contact, the vendoror, the buylawyer
One hyde, sack, hic! Two stick holst, Lucky! Finnish Make Goal!
First you were Nomad, next you were Namar, now you're Nu-
mah and it's soon you'll be Nomon. Hence counsels Ecclesiast.
There's every resumption. The forgein offils is on the shove to
lay you out dossier. Darby's in the yard, planning it on you, plot
and edgings, the whispering peeler after cooks wearing an illfor-
mation. The find of his kind! An artist, sir! And dirt cheap at
a sovereign a skull! He knows his Finsbury Follies backwoods
so you batter see to your regent refutation. Ascare winde is rifing
again about nice boys going native. You know who was wrote
about in the Orange Book of Estchapel? Basil and the two other
men from King's Avenance. Just press this cold brand against
your brow for a mow. Cainfully! The sinus the curse. That's it.
Hung Chung Egglyfella now speak he tell numptywumpty top-
sawys belongahim pidgin. Secret things other persons place there
covered not. How you fell from story to story like a sagasand
- 375 -
to lie. Enfilmung infirmity. On the because alleging to having a
finger a fudding in pudding and pie. And here's the witnesses.
Glue on to him, Greevy! Bottom anker, Noordeece! And kick
kick killykick for the house that juke built! Wait till they send
you to sleep, scowpow! By jurors' cruces! Then old Hunphy-
dunphyville'll be blasted to bumboards by the youthful herald
who would once you were. He'd be our chosen one in the matter
of Brittas more than anarthur. But we'll wake and see. The wholes
poors riches of ours hundreds of manhoods and womhoods. Two
cents, two mills and two myrds. And it's all us rangers you'll be
facing in the box before the twelfth correctional. Like one man,
gell. Between all the Misses Mountsackvilles in their halfmoon
haemicycles, gasping to giddies to dye for the shame. Just hold
hard till the one we leapt out gets her yearing! Hired in cameras,
extra! With His Honour Surpacker on the binge. So yelp your
guilt and kitz the buck. You'll have loss of fame from Wimme-
game's fake. Forwards! One bully son growing the goff and his
twinger read out by the Nazi Priers. You fought as how they'd
never woxen up, did you, crucket? It will wecker your earse, that
it will! When hives the court to exchequer 'tis the child which
gives the sire away. Good for you, Richmond Rover! Scrum
around, our side! Let him have another between the spindlers! A
grand game! Dalymount's decisive. Don Gouverneur Buckley's
in the Tara Tribune, sporting the insides of a Rhutian Jhanaral
and little Mrs Ex-Skaerer-Sissers is bribing the halfpricers to pray
for her widower in his gravest embazzlement. You on her, hosy
jigses, that'll be some nonstop marrimont! You in your stolen
mace and anvil, Magnes, and her burrowed in Berkness cirrchus
clouthses. Fummuccumul with a graneen aveiled. Playing down
the slavey touch. Much as she was when the.fancy cutter out col-
lecting milestones espied her aseesaw on a fern. So nimb, he said,
a dat of dew. Between Furr-y-Benn and Ferr-y-Bree. In this tear
Vikloe vich he lofed. The smiling ever. If you pulls me over pay
me, prhyse! A talor would adapt his caulking trudgers on to any
shape at see. Address deceitfold of wovens weard. The wonder
of the women of the world together, moya! And the lovablest
- 376 -
Lima since Ineen MacCormick MacCoort MacConn O'Puckins
MacKundred. Only but she is a little width wider got. Be moving
abog. You cannot make a limousine lady out of a hillman minx.
Listun till you'll hear the Mudquirt accent. This is a bulgen
horesies, this is wollan indulgencies, this is a flemsh. Tik. Scapu-
lars, beads and a stump of a candle, Hubert was a Hunter, chemins
de la croixes and Rosairette's egg, all the trimmings off the tree
that she picked up after the Clontarf voterloost when O'Bryan
MacBruiser bet Norris Nobnut. Becracking his cucconut be-
tween his kknneess. Umpthump, Here Inkeeper, it's the doater-
een's wednessmorn! Delphin dringing! Grusham undergang!
And the Real Hymernians strenging strong at knocker knocker!
Holy and massalltolled. You ought to tak a dos of frut. Jik.
Sauss. You're getting hoovier, a twelve stone hoovier, fullends
a twelve stone hoovier, in your corpus entis and it scurves you
right, demnye! Aunt as unclish ams they make oom. But Nichtia
you bound not to loose's gone on Neffin since she clapped her
charmer on him at Gormagareen. At the Gunting Munting Hunt-
ing Punting. The eitch is in her blood, arrah! For a frecklesome
freshcheeky sweetworded lupsqueezer. And he shows how he'll
pick him the lock of her fancy. Poghue! Poghue! Poghue! And
a good jump, Powell! Clean over all their heads. We could kiss
him for that one, couddled we, Huggins? Sparkes is the footer
to hance off nancies. Scaldhead, pursue! Before you bunkledoodle
down upon your birchentop again after them three blows from
time, drink and hurry. The same three that nursed you, Skerry,
Badbols and the Grey One. All of your own club too. With the
fistful of burryberries were for the massus for to feed you living
in dying. Buy bran biscuits and you'll never say dog. And be
in the finest of companies. Morialtay and Kniferope Walker and
Rowley the Barrel. With Longbow of the lie. Slick of the trick
and Blennercassel of the brogue. Clanruckard for ever! The
Fenn, the Fenn, the kinn of all Fenns! Deaf to the winds when
for Croonacreena. Fisht! And it's not now saying how we are
where who's softing what rushes. Merryvirgin forbed! But of
they never eat soullfriede they're ating it now. With easter
- 377 -
greeding. Angus! Angus! Angus! The keykeeper of the keys of
the seven doors of the dreamadoory in the house of the house-
hold of Hecech saysaith. Whitmore, whatmore? Give it over,
give it up! Mawgraw! Head of a helo, chesth of champgnon, eye
of a gull! What you'd if he'd. The groom is in the greenhouse,
gattling out his. Gun! That lad's the style for. Lannigan's ball!
Now a drive on the naval! The Shallburn Shock. Never mind
your gibbous. Slip on your ropen collar and draw the noosebag
on your head. Nobody will know or heed you, Postumus, if you
skip round schlymartin by the back and come front sloomutren
to beg in one of the shavers' sailorsuits. Three climbs three-
quickenthrees in the garb of nine. We'll split to see you mouldem
imparvious. A wing for oldboy Welsey Wandrer! Well spat,
witty wagtail! Now piawn to bishop's forthe! Moove. There's
Mumblesome Wadding Murch cranking up to the hornemooni-
um. Drawg us out Ivy Eve in the Hall of Alum! The finnecies of
poetry wed music. Feeling the jitters? You'll be as tight as Trivett
when the knot's knutted on. Now's your never! Peena and
Queena are duetting a giggle-for-giggle and the brideen Alan-
nah is lost in her diamindwaiting. What a magnificent gesture
you will show us this gallus day. Clean and easy, be the hooker!
And a free for croaks after. Dovlen are out for it. So is Rathfinn.
And, hike, here's the hearse and four horses with the interpro-
vincial crucifixioners throwing lots inside to know whose to be
their gosson and whereas to brake the news to morhor. How
our myterbilder his fullen aslip. And who will wager but he'll
Shonny Bhoy be, the fleshlumpfleeter from Poshtapengha and all
he bares sobsconcious inklings shadowed on soulskin'. Its segnet
yores, the strake of a hin. Nup. Laying the cloth, to fore of them.
And thanking the fish, in core of them. To pass the grace for
Gard sake! Ahmohn. Mr Justician Matthews and Mr Justician
Marks and Mr Justician Luk de Luc and Mr Justinian Johnston-
Johnson. And the aaskart, see, behind! Help, help, hurray! All-
sup, allsop! Four ghools to nail! Cut it down, mates, look slippy!
They've got a dathe with a swimminpull. Dang! Ding! Dong!
Dung! Dinnin. Isn't it great he is swaying above us for his good
- 378 -
and ours. Fly your balloons, dannies and dennises! He's door-
knobs dead! And Annie Delap is free! Ones more. We could
ate you, par Buccas, and imbabe through you, reassuranced in
the wild lac of gotliness. One fledge, one brood till hulm
culms evurdyburdy. Huh the throman! Huh the traidor. Huh
the truh. Arrorsure, he's the mannork of Arrahland over-
sense he horrhorrd his name in thuthunder. Rrrwwwkkkrrr!
And seen it rudden up in fusefiressence on the flashmurket.
P.R.C.R.L.L. Royloy. Of the rollorrish rattillary. The lewd-
ningbluebolteredallucktruckalltraumconductor! The unnamed
nonirishblooder that becomes a Greenislender overnight! But
we're molting superstituettes out of his fulse thortin guts. Tried
mark, Easterlings. Sign, Soideric O'Cunnuc, Rix. Adversed ord,
Magtmorken, Kovenhow. There's a great conversion, myn! Cou-
cous! Find his causcaus! From Motometusolum through Bulley
and Cowlie and Diggerydiggerydock down to bazeness's usual?
He's alight there still, by Mike! Loose afore! Bung! Bring forth
your deed! Bang! Till is the right time. Bang! Partick Thistle
agen S. Megan's versus Brystal Palace agus the Walsall! Putsch!
Tiemore moretis tisturb badday! The playgue will be soon over,
rats! Let sin! Geh tont! All we wants is to get peace for posses-
sion. We dinned unnerstunned why you sassad about thurteen
to aloafen, sor, kindly repeat! Or ledn us alones of your lungorge,
parsonifier propounde of our edelweissed idol worts! Shaw and
Shea are lorning obsen so hurgle up, gandfarder, and gurgle me
gurk. You can't impose on frayshouters like os. Every tub here
spucks his own fat. Hang coersion everyhow! And smotther-
mock Gramm's laws! But we're a drippindhrue gayleague all at
ones. In the buginning is the woid, in the muddle is the sound-
dance and thereinofter you're in the unbewised again, vund
vulsyvolsy. You talker dunsker's brogue men we our souls
speech obstruct hostery. Silence in thought! Spreach! Wear
anartful of outer nocense! Pawpaw, wowow! Momerry twelfths,
noebroed! That was a good one, ha! So it will be quite a material
what May farther be unvuloped for you, old Mighty, when it's
aped to foul a delfian in the Mahnung. Ha ha! Talk of Paddy-
- 379 -
barke's echo! Kick nuck, Knockcastle! Muck! And you'll nose it,
O you'll nose it, without warnward from we. We don't know the
sendor to whome. But you'll find Chiggenchugger's taking the
Treaclyshortcake with Bugle and the Bitch pairsadrawsing and
Horssmayres Prosession tyghting up under the threes. Stop.
Press stop. To press stop. All to press stop. And be the seem
talkin wharabahts hosetanzies, dat sure is sullibrated word! Bing
bong! Saxolooter, for congesters are salders' prey. Snap it up in
the loose, patchy the blank! Anyone can see you're the son of a
gunnell. Fellow him up too, Carlow! Woes to the worm-
quashed, aye, and wor to the winner! Think of Aerian's Wall and
the Fall of Toss. Give him another for to volleyholleydoodlem!
His lights not all out yet, the liverpooser! Boohoohoo it oose!
With seven hores always in the home of his thinkingthings, his
nodsloddledome of his noiselisslesoughts. Two Idas, two Evas,
two Nessies and Rubyjuby. Phook! No wonder, pipes as kirles,
that he sthings like a rheinbok. One bed night he had the dely-
siums that they were all queens mobbing him. Fell stiff. Oh,
ho, ho, ho, ah, he, he! Abedicate yourself It just gegs our goad.
He'll be the deaf of us, pappappoppopcuddle, samblind daiy-
rudder. Yus, sord, fathe, you woll, putty our wraughther!
What we waits be after? Whyfore we come agooding? None of
you, cock icy! You keep that henayearn and her fortycantle glim
lookbehinder. We might do with rubiny leeses. But of all your
wanings send us out your peppydecked ales and you'll not be
such a bad lot. The rye is well for whose amind but the wheateny
one is proper lovely. B E N K! We sincerestly trust that Missus
with the kiddies of sweet Gorteen has not B I N K to their very
least tittles deranged if in B U N K and we greesiously augur for
your Meggers a B E N K  B A N K  B O N K to sloop in with
all sorts of adceterus and adsaturas. It's our last fight, Megantic,
fear you will! The refergee's took to hailing to time the pass.
There goes the blackwatchwomen, all in white, flaxed up, pur-
gad! Right toe, Armitage! Tem for Tam at Timmotty Hall!
We're been carried away. Beyond bournes and bowers. So we'll
leave it to Keyhoe, Danelly and Pykemhyme, the three muskrat-
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eers, at the end of this age that had it from Variants' Katey
Sherratt that had it from Variants' Katey Sherratt's man for the
bonnefacies of Blashwhite and Blushred of the Aquasancta Liffey
Patrol to wind up and to tells of all befells after that to Mocked
Majesty in the Malincurred Mansion.
    So you were saying, boys? Anyhow he what?
    So anyhow, melumps and mumpos of the hoose uncommons,
after that to wind up that longtobechronickled gettogether
thanksbetogiving day at Glenfinnisk-en-la-Valle, the anniver-
sary of his finst homy commulion, after that same barbecue bean-
feast was all over poor old hospitable corn and eggfactor, King
Roderick O'Conor, the paramount chief polemarch and last pre-
electric king of Ireland, who was anything you say yourself be-
tween fiftyodd and fiftyeven years of age at the time after the
socalled last supper he greatly gave in his umbrageous house of
the hundred bottles with the radio beamer tower and its hangars,
chimbneys and equilines or, at least, he was'nt actually the then
last king of all Ireland for the time being for the jolly good
reason that he was still such as he was the eminent king of all
Ireland himself after the last preeminent king of all Ireland, the
whilom joky old top that went before him in the Taharan dy-
nasty, King Arth Mockmorrow Koughenough of the leathered
leggions, now of parts unknown, (God guard his generous
comicsongbook soul!) that put a poached fowl in the poor man's
pot before he took to his pallyass with the weeping eczema for
better and worse until he went under the grass quilt on us, never-
theless, the year the sugar was scarce, and we to lather and shave
and frizzle him, like a bald surging buoy and himself down
to three cows that was meat and drink and dogs and washing
to him, 'tis good cause we have to remember it, going through
summersultryngs of snow and sleet witht the widow Nolan's
goats and the Brownes girls neats anyhow, wait till I tell you,
what did he do, poor old Roderick O'Conor Rex, the aus-
picious waterproof monarch of all Ireland, when he found him-
self all alone by himself in his grand old handwedown pile after
all of them had all gone off with themselves to their castles of
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mud, as best they cud, on footback, owing to the leak of the
McCarthy's mare, in extended order, a tree's length from the
longest way out, down the switchbackward slidder of the land-
sown route of Hauburnea's liveliest vinnage on the brain, the
unimportant Parthalonians with the mouldy Firbolgs and the
Tuatha de Danaan googs and the ramblers from Clane and all
the rest of the notmuchers that he did not care the royal spit out
of his ostensible mouth about, well, what do you think he did,
sir, but, faix, he just went heeltapping through the winespilth
and weevily popcorks that were kneedeep round his own right
royal round rollicking toper's table, with his old Roderick Ran-
dom pullon hat at a Lanty Leary cant on him and Mike Brady's
shirt and Greene's linnet collarbow and his Ghenter's gaunts and
his Macclefield's swash and his readymade Reillys and his pan-
prestuberian poncho, the body you'd pity him, the way the world
is, poor he, the heart of Midleinster and the supereminent lord of
them all, overwhelmed as he was with black ruin like a sponge
out of water, allocutioning in bellcantos to his own oliverian
society MacGuiney's Dreans of Ergen Adams and thruming
through all to himself with diversed tonguesed through his old
tears and his ould plaised drawl. starkened by the most regal of
belches, like a blurney Cashelmagh crooner that lerking Clare
air, the blackberd's ballad I've a terrible errible lot todue todie
todue tootorribleday, well, what did he go and do at all, His Most
Exuberant Majesty King Roderick O'Conor but, arrah bedamnbut,
he finalised by lowering his woolly throat with the wonderful
midnight thirst was on him, as keen as mustard, he could not tell
what he did ale, that bothered he was from head to tail, and,
wishawishawish, leave it, what the Irish, boys, can do, if he did'nt
go, sliggymaglooral reemyround and suck up, sure enough, like
a Trojan, in some particular cases with the assistance of his vene-
rated tongue, whatever surplus rotgut, sorra much, was left by the
lazy lousers of maltknights and beerchurls in the different bot-
toms of the various different replenquished drinking utensils left
there behind them on the premisses by that whole hogsheaded
firkin family, the departed honourable homegoers and other sly-
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grogging suburbanites, such as it was, fall and fall about, to the
brindishing of his charmed life, as toastified by his cheeriubi-
cundenances,no matter whether it was chateaubottled Guiness's
or Phoenix brewery stout it was or John Jameson and Sons or
Roob Coccola or, for the matter of that, O'Connell's famous old
Dublin ale that he wanted like hell, more that halibut oil or
jesuits tea, as a fall back, of several different quantities and quali-
ties amounting in all to, I should say, considerably more than the
better part of a gill or naggin of imperial dry and liquid measure
till, welcome be from us here, till the rising of the morn, till that
hen of Kaven's shows her beaconegg, and Chapwellswendows
stain our horyhistoricold and Father MacMichael stamps for
aitch o'clerk mess and the Litvian Newestlatter is seen, sold and
delivered and all's set for restart after the silence, like his ancestors
to this day after him (that the blazings of their ouldmouldy gods
may attend to them we pray!), overopposides the cowery lad in
the corner and forenenst the staregaze of the cathering candled,
that adornment of his album and folkenfather of familyans, he
came acrash a crupper sort of a sate on accomondation and the
very boxst in all his composs, whereuponce, behome the fore
for cove and trawlers, heave hone, leave lone, Larry's on the
focse and Faugh MacHugh O'Bawlar at the wheel, one to do and
one to dare, par by par, a peerless pair, ever here and over there,
with his fol the dee oll the doo on the flure of his feats and the
feels of the fumes in the wakes of his ears our wineman from
Barleyhome he just slumped to throne.
    So sailed the stout ship Nansy Hans. From Liff away. For
Nattenlaender. As who has come returns. Farvel, farerne! Good-
bark, goodbye!
    Now follow we out by Starloe!