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Every evening at lighting up o'clock sharp and until further
notice in Feenichts Playhouse. (Bar and conveniences always
open, Diddlem Club douncestears.) Entrancings: gads, a scrab;
the quality, one large shilling. Newly billed for each wickeday
perfumance. Somndoze massinees. By arraignment, childream's
hours, expercatered. Jampots, rinsed porters, taken in token. With
nightly redistribution of parts and players by the puppetry pro-
ducer and daily dubbing of ghosters, with the benediction of the
Holy Genesius Archimimus and under the distinguished patron-
age of their Elderships the Oldens from the four coroners of
Findrias, Murias, Gorias and Falias, Messoirs the Coarbs, Clive
Sollis, Galorius Kettle, Pobiedo Lancey and Pierre Dusort,
while the Caesar-in-Chief looks. On. Sennet. As played to the
Adelphi by the Brothers Bratislavoff (Hyrcan and Haristobulus),
after humpteen dumpteen revivals. Before all the King's Hoarsers
with all the Queen's Mum. And wordloosed over seven seas
crowdblast in cellelleneteutoslavzendlatinsoundscript. In four
tubbloids. While fern may cald us until firn make cold. The Mime
of Mick, Nick and the Maggies, adopted from the Ballymooney
Bloodriddon Murther by Bluechin Blackdillain (authorways 'Big
GLUGG (Mr Seumas McQuillad, hear the riddles between the
robot in his dress circular and the gagster in the rogues' gallery),
the bold bad bleak boy of the storybooks, who, when the tabs go
- 220 -
up, as we discover, because he knew to mutch, has been divorced
into disgrace court by
THE FLORAS (Girl Scouts from St. Bride's Finishing Establish-
ment, demand acidulateds), a month's bunch of pretty maidens
who, while they pick on her, their pet peeve, form with valkyri-
enne licence the guard for
IZOD (Miss Butys Pott, ask the attendantess for a leaflet), a be-
witching blonde who dimples delightfully and is approached in
loveliness only by her grateful sister reflection in a mirror, the cloud
of the opal, who, having jilted Glugg, is being fatally fascinated by
CHUFF (Mr Sean O'Mailey, see the chalk and sanguine picto-
graph on the safety drop), the fine frank fairhaired fellow of the
fairytales, who wrestles for tophole with the bold bad bleak boy
Glugg, geminally about caps or puds or tog bags or bog gats or
chuting rudskin gunerally or something, until they adumbrace a
pattern of somebody else or other, after which they are both car-
ried off the set and brought home to be well soaped, sponged and
scrubbed again by
ANN (Miss Corrie Corriendo, Grischun scoula, bring the babes,
Pieder, Poder and Turtey, she mistributes mandamus monies,
after perdunamento, hendrud aloven entrees, pulcinellis must not
miss our national rooster's rag), their poor little old mother-in-
lieu, who is woman of the house, playing opposite to
HUMP (Mr Makeall Gone, read the sayings from Laxdalesaga
in the programme about King Ericus of Schweden and the spirit's
whispers in his magical helmet), cap-a-pipe with watch and top-
per, coat, crest and supporters, the cause of all our grievances,
the whirl, the flash and the trouble, who, having partially re-
covered from a recent impeachment due to egg everlasting, but
throughandthoroughly proconverted, propounded for cyclo-
logical, is, studding sail once more, jibsheets and royals, in the
semblance of the substance for the membrance of the umbrance
with the remnance of the emblence reveiling a quemdam super-
cargo, of The Rockery, Poopinheavin, engaged in entertaining
in his pilgrimst customhouse at Caherlehome-upon-Eskur those
- 221 -
THE CUSTOMERS (Components of the Afterhour Courses at St.
Patricius' Academy for Grownup Gentlemen, consult the annu-
ary, coldporters sibsuction), a bundle of a dozen of representa-
tive locomotive civics, each inn quest of outings, who are still
more sloppily served after every cup final by
SAUNDERSON (Mr Knut Oelsvinger, Tiffsdays off, wouldntstop
in bad, imitation of flatfish, torchbearing supperaape, dud half-
sovereign, no chee daily, rolly pollsies, Glen of the Downs, the
Gugnir, his geyswerks, his earsequack, his lokistroki, o.s.v.), a
scherinsheiner and spoilcurate, unconcerned in the mystery but
under the inflounce of the milldieuw and butt of
KATE (Miss Rachel Lea Varian, she tells forkings for baschfel-
lors, under purdah of card palmer teaput tosspot Madam d'Elta,
during the pawses), kook-and-dishdrudge, whitch believes wan-
thingthats, whouse be the churchyard or whorts up the aasgaars,
the show must go on.
Time: the pressant.
With futurist onehorse balletbattle pictures and the Pageant
of Past History worked up with animal variations amid ever-
glaning mangrovemazes and beorbtracktors by Messrs Thud and
Blunder. Shadows by the film folk, masses by the good people.
Promptings by Elanio Vitale. Longshots, upcloses, outblacks and
stagetolets by Hexenschuss, Coachmaher, Incubone and Rock-
narrag. Creations tastefully designed by Madame Berthe Dela-
mode. Dances arranged by Harley Quinn and Coollimbeina.
Jests, jokes, jigs and jorums for the Wake lent from the properties
of the late cemented Mr T. M. Finnegan R.I.C. Lipmasks and
hairwigs by Ouida Nooikke. Limes and Floods by Crooker and
Toll. Kopay pibe by Kappa Pedersen. Hoed Pine hat with
twentyfour ventholes by Morgen. Bosse and stringbag from
Heteroditheroe's and All Ladies' presents. Tree taken for grafted.
Rock rent. Phenecian blends and Sourdanian doofpoosts by
Shauvesourishe and Wohntbedarft. The oakmulberryeke with
silktrick twomesh from Shop-Sowry, seedsmanchap. Grabstone
beg from General Orders Mailed. The crack (that's Cork!) by
a smoker from the gods. The interjection (Buckley!) by the fire-
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ment in the pit. Accidental music providentially arranged by
L'Archet and Laccorde. Melodiotiosities in purefusion by the
score. To start with in the beginning, we need hirtly bemark,
a community prayer, everyone for himself, and to conclude
with as an exodus, we think it well to add, a chorale in canon,
good for us all for us all us all all. Songs betune the acts by
the ambiamphions of Annapolis, Joan MockComic, male so-
prano, and Jean Souslevin, bass noble, respectively: O, Mester
Sogermon, ef thes es whot ye deux, then I'm not surpleased ye
want that bottle of Sauvequipeu and Oh Off Nunch Der Rasche
Ver Lasse Mitsch Nitscht. Till the summit scenes of climbacks
castastrophear, The Bearded Mountain (Polymop Barethe-
rootsch), and The River Romps to Nursery (Maidykins in Undi-
form). The whole thugogmagog, including the portions under-
stood to be oddmitted as the results of the respective titulars
neglecting to produce themselves, to be wound up for an after-
enactment by a Magnificent Transformation Scene showing the
Radium Wedding of Neid and Moorning and the Dawn of
Peace, Pure, Perfect and Perpetual, Waking the Weary of the
An argument follows.
Chuffy was a nangel then and his soard fleshed light like like-
ning. Fools top! Singty, sangty, meekly loose, defendy nous from
prowlabouts. Make a shine on the curst. Emen.
But the duvlin sulph was in Glugger, that lost-to-lurning.
Punct. He was sbuffing and sputing, tussing like anisine, whip-
ping his eyesoult and gnatsching his teats over the brividies from
existers and the outher liubbocks of life. He halth kelchy chosen
a clayblade and makes prayses to his three of clubs. To part from
these, my corsets, is into overlusting fear. Acts of feet, hoof and
jarrety: athletes longfoot. Djowl, uphere!
Aminxt that nombre of evelings, but how pierceful in their so-
jestiveness were those first girly stirs, with zitterings of flight re-
leased and twinglings of twitchbells in rondel after, with waver-
ings that made shimmershake rather naightily all the duskcended
airs and shylit beaconings from shehind hims back. Sammy, call
- 223 -
on. Mirrylamb, she was shuffering all the diseasinesses of the un-
herd of. Mary Louisan Shousapinas! If Arck could no more salve
his agnols from the wiles of willy wooly woolf! If all the airish
signics of her dipandump helpabit from an Father Hogam till
the Mutther Masons could not that Glugg to catch her by the
calour of her brideness! Not Rose, Sevilla nor Citronelle; not
Esmeralde, Pervinca nor Indra; not Viola even nor all of them
four themes over. But, the monthage stick in the melmelode jawr,
I am (twintomine) all thees thing. Up tighty in the front, down
again on the loose, drim and drumming on her back and a pop
from her whistle. What is that, O holytroopers? Isot givin yoe?
Up he stulpled, glee you gees, with search a fling did die near
sea, beamy owen and calmy hugh and if you what you my call for
me I will wishyoumaycull for you.
And they are met, face a facing. They are set, force to force.
And no such Copenhague-Marengo was less so fated for a fall
since in Glenasmole of Smiling Thrushes Patch Whyte passed
Arrest thee, scaldbrother! came the evangelion, sabre accu-
sant, from all Saint Joan's Wood to kill or maim him, and be
dumm but ill s'arrested. Et would proffer to his delected one the
his trifle from the grass.
A space. Who are you? The cat's mother. A time. What do
you lack? The look of a queen.
But what is that which is one going to prehend? Seeks, buzzling
is brains, the feinder.
The howtosayto itiswhatis hemustwhomust worden schall.
A darktongues, kunning. O theoperil! Ethiaop lore, the poor lie.
He askit of the hoothed fireshield but it was untergone into the
matthued heaven. He soughed it from the luft but that bore ne
mark ne message. He luked upon the bloomingrund where ongly
his corns were growning. At last he listed back to beckline how
she pranked alone so johntily. The skand for schooling.
With nought a wired from the wordless either.
Item. He was hardset then. He wented to go (somewhere) while
he was weeting. Utem. He wished to grieve on the good persons, that
- 224 -
is the four gentlemen. Otem. And it was not a long time till he was
feeling true forim he was goodda purssia and it was short after that
he was fooling mehaunt to mehynte he was an injine ruber. Etem.
He was at his thinker's aunts to give (the four gentlemen) the
presence (of a curpse). And this is what he would be willing. He
fould the fourd; they found the hurtled stones; they fell ill with the
gravy duck: and he sod town with the roust of the meast. Atem.
Towhere byhangs ourtales.
Ah ho! This poor Glugg! It was so said of him about of his old
fontmouther. Truly deplurabel! A dire, O dire! And all the freight-
fullness whom he inhebited after his colline born janitor. Some-
time towerable! With that hehry antlets on him and the bauble-
light bulching out of his sockets whiling away she sprankled his
allover with her noces of interregnation: How do you do that lack
a lock and pass the poker, please? And bids him tend her, lute
and airly. Sing, sweetharp, thing to me anone! So that Glugg,
the poor one, in that limbopool which was his subnesciousness
he could scares of all knotknow whither his morrder had bourst
a blabber or if the vogalstones that hit his tynpan was that mearly
his skoll missed her. Misty's trompe or midst his flooting? Ah,
ho! Cicely, awe!
The youngly delightsome frilles-in-pleyurs are now showen
drawen, if bud one, or, if in florileague, drawens up consociately
at the hinder sight of their commoner guardian. Her boy fiend or
theirs, if they are so plurielled, cometh up as a trapadour, sinking
how he must fand for himself by gazework what their colours
wear as they are all showen drawens up. Tireton, cacheton, tire-
ton, ba! Doth that not satisfy youth, sir? Quanty purty bellas,
here, Madama Lifay! And what are you going to charm them to,
Madama, do say? Cinderynelly angled her slipper; it was cho
chiny yet braught her a groom. He will angskt of them from their
commoner guardian at next lineup (who is really the rapier of the
two though thother brother can hold his own, especially for he
bandished it with his hand the hold time, mamain, a simply gra-
cious: Mi, O la!), and reloose that thong off his art: Hast thou feel
liked carbunckley ones? Apun which his poohoor pricoxity theirs
- 225 -
is a little tittertit of hilarity (Lad-o'-me-soul! Lad-o'-me-soul,
see!) and the wordchary is atvoiced ringsoundinly by their toots
ensembled, though not meaning to be clever, but just with a shrug
of their hips to go to troy and harff a freak at himself by all that
story to the ulstramarines. Otherwised, holding their noises,
they insinuate quiet private, Ni, he make peace in his preaches
and play with esteem.
Warewolff! Olff! Toboo!
So olff for his topheetuck the ruck made raid, aslick aslegs
would run; and he ankered on his hunkers with the belly belly
prest. Asking: What's my muffinstuffinaches for these times? To
weat: Breath and bother and whatarcurss. Then breath more
bother and more whatarcurss. Then no breath no bother but wor-
rawarrawurms. And Shim shallave shome.
As Rigagnolina to Mountagnone, what she meaned he could
not can. All she meaned was golten sylvup, all she meaned was
some Knight's ploung jamn. It's driving her dafft like he's so
dumnb. If he'd lonely talk instead of only gawk as thought yate-
man hat stuck hits stick althrough his spokes and if he woold nut
wolly so! Hee. Speak, sweety bird! Mitzymitzy! Though I did
ate tough turf I'm not the bogdoxy.
Have you monbreamstone?
Or Van Diemen's coral pearl?
He has lost.
Off to clutch, Glugg! Forwhat! Shape your reres, Glugg!
Foreweal! Ring we round, Chuff! Fairwell! Chuffchuff's inners
even. All's rice with their whorl!
Yet, ah tears, who can her mater be? She's promised he'd eye
her. To try up her pretti. But now it's so longed and so fared and
so forth. Jerry for jauntings. Alabye! Fled.
The flossies all and mossies all they drooped upon her draped
brimfall. The bowknots, the showlots, they wilted into woeblots.
- 226 -
The pearlagraph, the pearlagraph, knew whitchly whether to weep
or laugh. For always down in Carolinas lovely Dinahs vaunt their
Poor Isa sits a glooming so gleaming in the gloaming; the tin-
celles a touch tarnished wind no lovelinoise awound her swan's.
Hey, lass! Woefear gleam she so glooming, this pooripathete I
solde? Her beauman's gone of a cool. Be good enough to symper-
ise. If he's at anywhere she's therefor to join him. If it's to no-
where she's going to too. Buf if he'll go to be a son to France's
she'll stay daughter of Clare. Bring tansy, throw myrtle, strew
rue, rue, rue. She is fading out like Journee's clothes so you can't
see her now. Still we know how Day the Dyer works, in dims
and deeps and dusks and darks. And among the shades that Eve's
now wearing she'll meet anew fiancy, tryst and trow. Mammy
was, Mimmy is, Minuscoline's to be. In the Dee dips a dame and
the dame desires a demselle but the demselle dresses dolly and
the dolly does a dulcydamble. The same renew. For though
she's unmerried she'll after truss up and help that hussyband how
to hop. Hip it and trip it and chirrub and sing. Lord Chuffy's sky
sheraph and Glugg's got to swing.
So and so, toe by toe, to and fro they go round, for they are the
ingelles, scattering nods as girls who may, for they are an angel's
Catchmire stockings, libertyed garters, shoddyshoes, quicked
out with selver. Pennyfair caps on pinnyfore frocks and a ring on
her fomefing finger. And they leap so looply, looply, as they link
to light. And they look so loovely, loovelit, noosed in a nuptious
night. Withasly glints in. Andecoy glants out. They ramp it a
little, a lessle, a lissle. Then rompride round in rout.
Say them all but tell them apart, cadenzando coloratura! R is
Rubretta and A is Arancia, Y is for Yilla and N for greeneriN. B
is Boyblue with odalisque O while W waters the fleurettes of no-
vembrance. Though they're all but merely a schoolgirl yet these
way went they. I' th' view o' th'avignue dancing goes entrancing
roundly. Miss Oodles of Anems before the Luvium doeslike. So.
And then again doeslike. So. And miss Endles of Eons efter Dies
- 227 -
of Eirae doeslike. So. And then again doeslike. So. The many
wiles of Winsure.
The grocer's bawd she slips her hand in the haricot bag, the
lady in waiting sips her sup from the paraffin can, Mrs Wildhare
Quickdoctor helts her skelts up the casuaway the flasht instinct
she herds if a tinkle of tunder, the widow Megrievy she knits cats'
cradles, this bountiful actress leashes a harrier under her tongue,
and here's the girl who she's kneeled in coldfashion and she's told
her priest (spt!) she's pot on a chap (chp!) and this lass not least,
this rickissime woman, who she writes foot fortunes money times
over in the nursery dust with her capital thumb. Buzz. All run-
away sheep bound back bopeep, trailing their teenes behind
them. And these ways wend they. And those ways went they.
Winnie, Olive and Beatrice, Nelly and Ida, Amy and Rue. Here
they come back, all the gay pack, for they are the florals, from
foncey and pansey to papavere's blush, foresake-me-nought,
while there's leaf there's hope, with primtim's ruse and marry-
may's blossom, all the flowers of the ancelles' garden.
But vicereversing thereout from those palms of perfection to
anger arbour, treerack monatan, scroucely out of scout of ocean,
virid with woad, what tornaments of complementary rages rocked
the divlun from his punchpoll to his tummy's shentre as he dis-
plaid all the oathword science of his visible disgrace. He was
feeling so funny and floored for the cue, all over which girls as
he don't know whose hue. If goosseys gazious would but fain
smile him a smile he would be fondling a praise he ate some nice
bit of fluff. But no geste reveals the unconnouth. They're all
odds against him, the beasties. Scratch. Start.
He dove his head into Wat Murrey, gave Stewart Ryall a puck
on the plexus, wrestled a hurry-come-union with the Gillie Beg,
wiped all his sinses, martial and menial, out of Shrove Sundy
MacFearsome, excremuncted as freely as any frothblower into
MacIsaac, had a belting bout, chaste to chaste, with McAdoo
about nothing and, childhood's age being aye the shameleast, tel
a Tartaran tastarin toothsome tarrascone tourtoun, vestimentiv-
orous chlamydophagian, imbretellated himself for any time un-
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tellable with what hung over to the Machonochie Middle from
the MacSiccaries of the Breeks. Home!
Allwhile, moush missuies from mungy monsie, preying in
his mind, son of Everallin, within himself, he swure. Macnoon
maggoty mag! Cross of a coppersmith bishop! He would split.
He do big squeal like holy Trichepatte. Seek hells where from
yank islanders the petriote's absolation. Mocknitza! Genik! He
take skiff come first dagrene day overwide tumbler, rough and
dark, till when bow of the shower show of the bower with three
shirts and a wind, pagoda permettant, crookolevante, the bruce,
the coriolano and the ignacio. From prudals to the secular but
from the cumman to the nowter. Byebye, Brassolis, I'm breaving!
Our war, Dully Gray! A conansdream of lodascircles, he here
schlucefinis. Gelchasser no more! Mischnary for the minestrary
to all the sems of Aram. Shimach, eon of Era. Mum's for's
maxim, ban's for's book and Dodgesome Dora for hedgehung
sheolmastress. And Unkel Silanse coach in diligence. Discon-
nection of the succeeding. He wholehog himself for carberry
banishment care of Pencylmania, Bretish Armerica, to melt Mrs
Gloria of the Bunkers' Trust, recorporated, (prunty!) by meteo-
romancy and linguified heissrohgin, quit to hail a hurry laracor
and catch the Paname-Turricum and regain that absendee tarry
easty, his citta immediata, by an alley and detour with farecard
awailable getrennty years. Right for Rovy the Roder. From the
safe side of distance! Libera, nostalgia! Beate Laurentie O'Tuli,
Euro pra nobis! Every monk his own cashel where every little
ligger is his own liogotenente with inclined jambs in full purview
to his pronaose and to the deretane at his reredoss. Fuisfinister,
fuyerescaper! He would, with the greatest of ease, before of
weighting midhook, by dear home trashold on the raging canal,
for othersites of Jorden, (heave a hevy, waterboy!) make one
of hissens with a knockonacow and a chow collegions and fire
off, gheol ghiornal, foull subustioned mullmud, his farced epistol
to the hibruws. From Cernilius slomtime prepositus of Toumaria
to the clutch in Anteach. Salvo! Ladigs and jointuremen! No more
turdenskaulds! Free leaves for ebribadies! All tinsammon in the
- 229 -
yord! With harm and aches till farther alters! Wild primates not
stop him frem at rearing a writing in handy antics. Nom de
plume! Gout strap Fenlanns! And send Jarge for Mary Ink-
lenders! And daunt you logh if his vineshanky's schwemmy!
For he is the general, make no mistake in he. He is General
Go in for scribenery with the satiety of arthurs in S.P.Q.R.ish
and inform to the old sniggering publicking press and its nation
of sheepcopers about the whole plighty troth between them, ma-
lady of milady made melodi of malodi, she, the lalage of lyon-
esses, and him, her knave arrant. To Wildrose La Gilligan from
Croppy Crowhore. For all within crystal range.
Ukalepe. Loathers' leave. Had Days. Nemo in Patria. The
Luncher Out. Skilly and Carubdish. A Wondering Wreck. From
the Mermaids' Tavern. Bullyfamous. Naughtsycalves. Mother of
Misery. Walpurgas Nackt.
Maleesh! He would bare to untired world of Leimunconon-
nulstria (and what a strip poker globbtrottel they pairs would
looks!) how wholefallows, his guffer, the sabbatarian (might
faction split his beard!), he too had a great big oh in the
megafundum of his tomashunders and how her Lettyshape, his
gummer, that congealed sponsar, she had never cessed at waking
malters among the jemassons since the duft that meataxe delt
her made her microchasm as gap as down low. So they fished
in the kettle and fought free and if she bit his tailibout all hat
tiffin for thea. He would jused sit it all write down just as he
would jused set it up all writhefully rate in blotch and void,
yielding to no man in hymns ignorance, seeing how heartsilly
sorey he was, owning to the condrition of his bikestool. And,
reading off his fleshskin and writing with his quillbone, fillfull
ninequires with it for his auditers, Caxton and Pollock, a most
moraculous jeeremyhead sindbook for all the peoples, under the
presidency of the suchess of sceaunonsceau, a hadtobe heldin,
thoroughly enjoyed by many so meny on block at Boyrut season
and for their account ottorly admired by her husband in sole in-
timacy, about whose told his innersense and the grusomehed's
- 230 -
yoeureeke of his spectrescope and why he was off colour and how
he was ambothed upon by the very spit of himself, first on the
cheekside by Michelangelo and, besouns thats, over on the owld
jowly side by Bill C. Babby, and the suburb's formule why they
provencials drollo eggspilled him out of his homety dometry nar-
rowedknee domum (osco de basco de pesco de bisco!) because
all his creature comfort was an omulette finas erbas in an ark finis
orbe and, no master how mustered, mind never mend, he could
neither swuck in nonneither swimp in the flood of cecialism and
the best and schortest way of blacking out a caughtalock of all
the sorrors of Sexton until he would accoster her coume il fou in
teto-dous as a wagoner would his mudheeldy wheesindonk at
their trist in Parisise after tourments of tosend years, bread cast
out on waters, making goods at mutuurity, Mondamoiseau of
Casanuova and Mademoisselle from Armentières. Neblonovi's
Nivonovio! Nobbio and Nuby in ennoviacion! Occitantitempoli!
He would si through severalls of sanctuaries maywhatmay might-
whomight so as to meet somewhere, if produced, on a demi pans-
sion for his whole lofetime, payment in goo to slee music and
poisonal comfany, following which, like Ipsey Secumbe, when he
fingon to foil the fluter, she could have all the g. s. M. she moo-
hooed after fore and rickwards to herslF, including science of
sonorous silence, while he, being brung up on soul butter, have
recourse of course to poetry. With tears for his coronaichon,
such as engines weep. Was liffe worth leaving? Nej!
Tholedoth, treetrene! Zokrahsing, stone! Arty, reminiscen-
sitive, at bandstand finale on grand carriero, dreaming largesse
of lifesighs over early lived offs all old Sators of the Sowsceptre
highly nutritius family histrionic, genitricksling with Avus and
Avia, that simple pair, and descendant down on veloutypads by a
vuncular process to Nurus and Noverca, those notorious nepotists,
circumpictified in their sobrine census, patriss all of them by the
glos on their germane faces and their socerine eyes like transparents
of vitricus, patruuts to a man, the archimade levirs of his ekonome
world. Remember thee, castle throwen? Ones propsperups treed,
now stohong baroque. And oil paint use a pumme if yell trace
- 231 -
me there title to where was a hovel not a havel (the first rattle of
his juniverse) with a tingtumtingling and a next, next and next
(gin a paddy? got a petty? gussies, gif it ope?), while itch ish
My God, alas, that dear olt tumtum home
Whereof in youthfood port I preyed
Amook the verdigrassy convict vallsall dazes.
And cloitered for amourmeant in thy boosome shede!
His mouthfull of ecstasy (for Shing-Yung-Thing in Shina from
Yoruyume across the Timor Sea), herepong (maladventure!) shot
pinging up through the errorooth of his wisdom (who thought
him a Fonar all, feastking of shellies by googling Lovvey, regally
freytherem, eagelly plumed, and wasbut gumboil owrithy prods
wretched some horsery megee plods coffin acid odarkery pluds
dense floppens mugurdy) as thought it had been zawhen intwo.
Wholly sanguish blooded up disconvulsing the fixtures of his
fizz. Apang which his tempory chewer med him a crazy chump
of a Haveajube Sillayass. Joshua Croesus, son of Nunn! Though
he shall live for millions of years a life of billions of years, from
their roseaced glows to their violast lustres, he shall not forget
that pucking Pugases. Holihowlsballs and bloody acres! Like
But, by Jove Chronides, Seed of Summ, after at he had bate
his breastplates for, forforget, forforgetting his birdsplace, it was
soon that, that he, that he rehad himself. By a prayer? No, that
comes later. By contrite attrition? Nay, that we passed. Mid
esercizism? So is richt.
And it was so. And Malthos Moramor resumed his soul. With:
Go Ferchios off to Allad out of this! An oldsteinsong. He threwed
his fit up to his aers, rolled his poligone eyes, snivelled from his
snose and blew the guff out of his hornypipe. The hopjoimt jerk
of a ladle broom jig that he learned in locofoco when a redhot
turnspite he. Under reign of old Roastin the Bowl Ratskillers,
readyos! Why was that man for he's doin her wrong! Lookery
looks, how he's knots in his entrails! Mookery mooks, it's a
grippe of his gripes. Seekeryseeks, why his biting he's head off?
- 232 -
Cokerycokes, it's his spurt of coal. And may his tarpitch dilute
not give him chromitis! For the mauwe that blinks you blank is
mostly Carbo. Where the inflammabilis might pursuive his com-
burenda with a pure flame and a true flame and a flame all too-
gasser, soot. The worst is over. Wait! And the dubuny Mag may
gang to preesses. With Dinny Finneen, me canty, ho! In the lost
of the gleamens. Sousymoust. For he would himself deal a treat-
ment as might be trusted in anticipation of his inculmination unto
fructification for the major operation. When (pip!) a message
interfering intermitting interskips from them (pet!) on herzian
waves, (call her venicey names! call her a stell!) a butterfly from
her zipclasped handbag, a wounded dove astarted from, escaping
out her forecotes. Isle wail for yews, O doherlynt! The poetesser.
And around its scorched cap she has twilled a twine of flame to
let the laitiest know she's marrid. And pim it goes backballed. Tot
burns it so leste. A claribel cumbeck to errind. Hers before his
even, posted ere penned. He's your change, thinkyou methim.
Go daft noon, madden, mind the step. Please stoop O to please.
Stop. What saying? I have soreunder from to him now, dear-
mate ashore, so, so compleasely till I can get redressed, which
means the end of my stays in the languish of Tintangle. Is you
zealous of mes, brother? Did you boo moiety lowd? You sup-
poted to be the on conditiously rejected? Satanly, lade! Can that
sobstuff, whingeywilly! Stop up, mavrone, and sit in my lap,
Pepette, though I'd much rather not. Like things are m. ds. is all
in vincibles. Decoded.
Now a run for his money! Now a dash to her dot! Old cocker,
young crowy sifadda, sosson. A bran new, speedhount, out-
stripperous on the wind. Like a waft to wingweary one or a sos
to a coastguard. For directly with his whoop, stop and an upa-
lepsy didando a tishy, in appreciable less time than it takes a
glaciator to submerger an Atlangthis, was he again, agob, before
the trembly ones, a spark's gap off, doubledasguesched, gotten
orlop in a simplasailormade and shaking the storm out of his
hiccups. The smartest vessel you could find would elazilee him
on her knee as her lucky for the Rio Grande. He's a pigtaiI tarr
- 233 -
and if he hadn't got it toothick he'd a telltale tall of his pitcher
on a wall with his photure in the papers for cutting moutonlegs
and capers, letting on he'd jest be japers and his tail cooked up.
Goal! It's one by its length.
Angelinas, hide from light those hues that your sin beau may
bring to light! Though down to your dowerstrip he's bent to
knee he maun't know ledgings here.
For a haunting way will go and you need not make your mow.
Find the frenge for frocks and translace it into shocks of such as
touch with show and show.
He is guessing at hers for all he is worse, the seagoer. Hark to
his wily geeses goosling by, and playfair, lady! And note that they
who will for exile say can for dog while them that won't leave
ingle end says now for know.
For he faulters how he hates to trouble them without.
But leaving codhead's mitre and the heron's plumes sinistrant
to the server of servants and rex of regums and making a bolder-
dash for lubberty of speech he asks not have you seen a match
being struck nor is this powder mine but, letting punplays pass
Haps thee jaoneofergs?
Haps thee mayjaunties?
Haps thee per causes nunsibellies?
Asky, asky, asky! Gau on! Micaco! Get!
Ping an ping nwan ping pwan pong.
And he did a get, their anayance, and slink his hook away,
aleguere come alaguerre, like a chimista inchamisas, whom the
harricana hurries and hots foots, zingo, zango, segur. To hoots
of utskut, urqurd, jamal, qum, yallah, yawash, yak! For he could
ciappacioppachew upon a skarp snakk of pure undefallen engelsk,
melanmoon or tartatortoise, tsukisaki or soppisuppon, as raskly
and as baskly as your cheesechalk cow cudd spanich. Makoto!
Whagta kriowday! Gelagala nausy is. Yet right divining do not
- 234 -
- was. Hovobovo hafogate hokidimatzi in kamicha! He had his
- sperrits all foulen on him; to vet, most griposly, he was bedizzled
- and debuzzled; he had his tristiest cabaleer on; and looked like
- bruddy Hal. A shelling a cockshy and be donkey shot at? Or a
- peso besant to join the armada?
- But, Sin Showpanza, could anybroddy which walked this world
- with eyes whiteopen have looked twinsomer than the kerl he left
- behind him? Candidatus, viridosus, aurilucens, sinelab? Of all
- the green heroes everwore coton breiches, the whitemost, the
- goldenest! How he stud theirs with himselfs mookst kevinly, and
- that anterevolitionary, the churchman childfather from tonsor's
- tuft to almonder's toes, a haggiography in duotrigesumy, son
- soptimost of sire sixtusks, of Mayaqueenies sign osure, hevnly
- buddhy time, inwreathed of his near cissies, a mickly dazzly eely
- oily with looiscurrals, a soulnetzer by zvesdals priestessd, their
- trail the tractive, and dem dandypanies knows de play of de eye-
- lids, with his gamecox spurts and his smile likequid glue (the
- suessiest sourir ever weanling wore), whiles his host of spritties,
- lusspillerindernees, they went peahenning a ripidarapidarpad
- around him, pilgrim prinkips, kerilour kevinour, in neuchoristic
- congressulations, quite purringly excited, rpdrpd, allauding to
- him by all the licknames in the litany with the terms in which
- no little dulsy nayer ever thinks about implying except to her
- future's year and sending him perfume most praypuffs to setis-
- fire more then to teasim (shllwe help, now you've massmuled,
- you t'rigolect a bit? yismik? yimissy?) that he, the finehued, the
- fairhailed, the farahead, might bouchesave unto each but every-
- one, asfar as safras durst assune, the havemercyonhurs of his
- kissier licence. Meanings: Andure the enjurious till imbetther rer.
- We know you like Latin with essies impures, (and your liber as
- they sea) we certney like gurgles love the nargleygargley so, arrah-
- beejee, tell that old frankay boyuk to bellows upthe tombucky in
- his tumtum argan and give us a gust of his gushy old. Goof!
- Hymnumber twentynine. O, the singing! Happy little girly-
- cums to have adolphted such an Adelphus! O, the swinginging
- hopops so goholden! They've come to chant en chor. They say
- - 235 -
their salat, the madiens' prayer to the messiager of His Nabis,
prostitating their selfs eachwise and combinedly. Fateha, fold the
hands. Be it honoured, bow the head. May thine evings e'en be
blossful! Even of bliss! As we so hope for ablution. For the sake
of the farbung and of the scent and of the holiodrops. Amems.
A pause. Their orison arises misquewhite as Osman glory, ebb-
ing wasteward, leaves to the soul of light its fading silence (allah-
lah lahlah lah!), a turquewashed sky. Then:
Xanthos! Xanthos! Xanthos! We thank to thine, mighty
innocent, that diddest bring it off fuitefuite. Should in ofter years
it became about you will after desk jobduty becoming a bank mid-
land mansioner we and I shall reside with our obeisant servants
among Burke's mobility at La Roseraie, Ailesbury Road. Red
bricks are all hellishly good values if you trust to the roster of ads
but we'll save up ourselves and nab what's nicest and boskiest of
timber trees in the nebohood. Oncaill's plot. Luccombe oaks,
Turkish hazels, Greek firs, incense palm edcedras. The hypso-
meters of Mount Anville is held to be dying out of arthataxis but,
praise send Larix U' Thule, the wych elm of Manelagh is still
flourishing in the open, because its native of our nature and the
seeds was sent by Fortune. We'll have our private palypeachum
pillarposterns for lovesick letterines fondly affianxed to our front
railings and swings, hammocks, tighttaught balletlines, accomoda-
tionnooks and prismic bathboites, to make Envyeyes mouth
water and wonder when they binocular us from their embrassured
windows in our garden rare. Fyat-Fyat shall be our number
on the autokinaton and Chubby in his Chuffs oursforownly
chuffeur. T will be waiting for uns as I sold U at the first antries.
Our cousin gourmand, Percy, the pup, will denounce the sniff-
nomers of all callers where among our Seemyease Sister, Tabitha,
the ninelived, will extend to the full her hearthy welcome. While
the turf and twigs they tattle. Tintin tintin. Lady Marmela Short-
bred will walk in for supper with her marchpane switch on, her
necklace of almonds and her poirette Sundae dress with bracelets
of honey and her cochineal hose with the caramel dancings, the
briskly best from Bootiestown, and her suckingstaff of ivory-
- 236 -
mint. You mustn't miss it or you'll be sorry. Charmeuses chloes,
glycering juwells, lydialight fans and puffumed cynarettes. And
the Prince Le Monade has been graciously pleased. His six choco-
late pages will run bugling before him and Cococream toddle
after with his sticksword in a pink cushion. We think His Spark-
ling Headiness ought to know Lady Marmela. Luisome his for
lissome hers. He's not going to Cork till Cantalamesse or may-
hope till Rose Easter or Saint Tibble's Day. So Niomon knows.
The Fomor's in his Fin, the Momor's her and hin. A paaralone!
A paaralone! And Dublin's all adin. We'll sing a song of Single-
month and you'll too and you'll. Here are notes. There's the key.
One two three. Chours! So come on, ye wealthy gentrymen wib-
frufrocksfull of fun! Thin thin! Thin thin! Thej olly and thel
ively, thou billy with thee coo, for to jog a jig of a crispness nice
and sing a missal too. Hip champouree! Hiphip champouree! O
you longtailed blackman, polk it up behind me! Hip champouree!
Hiphip champouree! And, jessies, push the pumkik round. Anne-
Since the days of Roamaloose and Rehmoose the pavanos have
been strident through their struts of Chapelldiseut, the vaulsies
have meed and youdled through the purly ooze of Ballybough,
many a mismy cloudy has tripped taintily along that hercourt
strayed reelway and the rigadoons have held ragtimed revels on
the platauplain of Grangegorman; and, though since then ster-
lings and guineas have been replaced by brooks and lions and
some progress has been made on stilts and the races have come
and gone and Thyme, that chef of seasoners, has made his usual
astewte use of endadjustables and whatnot willbe isnor was, those
danceadeils and cancanzanies have come stimmering down for our
begayment through the bedeafdom of po's taeorns, the obcecity
of pa's teapucs, as lithe and limbfree limber as when momie
mummed at ma.
Just so stylled with the nattes are their flowerheads now and
each of all has a lovestalk onto herself and the tot of all the tits of
their understamens is as open as he can posably she and is tourne-
soled straightcut or sidewaist, accourdant to the coursets of
- 237 -
things feminite, towooerds him in heliolatry, so they may catch-
cup in their calyzettes, alls they go troping, those parryshoots
from his muscalone pistil, for he can eyespy through them, to
their selfcolours, nevertheleast their tissue peepers, (meaning
Mullabury mesh, the time of appling flowers, a guarded figure
of speech, a variety of perfume, a bridawl, seamist inso one) as
leichtly as see saw (O my goodmiss! O my greatmess! O my
prizelestly preshoes!) while, dewyfully as dimb dumbelles, all
alisten to his elixir. Lovelyt!
And they said to him:
Enchainted, dear sweet Stainusless, young confessor, dearer
dearest, we herehear, aboutobloss, O coelicola, thee salutamt.
Pattern of our unschoold, pageantmaster, deliverer of softmis-
sives, round the world in forty mails, bag, belt and balmybeam,
our barnaboy, our chepachap, with that pampipe in your put-
away, gab borab, when you will be after doing all your sight-
seeing and soundhearing and smellsniffing and tastytasting and
tenderumstouchings in all Daneygaul, send us, your adorables,
thou overblaseed, a wise and letters play of all you can ceive,
chief celtech chappy, from your holy post now you hast as-
certained ceremonially our names. Unclean you art not. Outcaste
thou are not. Leperstower, the karman's loki, has not blanched
at our pollution and your intercourse at ninety legsplits does not
defile. Untouchable is not the scarecrown is on you. You are
pure. You are pure. You are in your puerity. You have not
brought stinking members into the house of Amanti. Elleb Inam,
Titep Notep, we name them to the Hall of Honour. Your head
has been touched by the god Enel-Rah and your face has been
brightened by the goddess Aruc-Ituc. Return, sainted youngling,
and walk once more among us! The rains of Demani are masikal
as of yere. And Baraza is all aflower. Siker of calmy days. As
shiver as shower can be. Our breed and better class is in brood
and bitter pass. Labbeycliath longs. But we're counting on the
cluck. The Great Cackler comes again. Sweetstaker, Abel lord of
all our haloease, we (to be slightly more femmiliar perhips than is
slickly more then nacessory), toutes philomelas as well as mag-
- 238 -
delenes, were drawpairs with two pinmarks, BVD and BVD dot,
so want lotteries of ticklets posthastem (you appreciate?) so as to
be very dainty, if an isaspell, and so as to be verily dandydainty,
if an ishibilley, of and on, to and for, by and with, from you.
Let the hitback hurry his wayward ere the missive has time to
take herself off, 'twill be o'erthemore willfully intomeet if the
coming offence can send our shudders before. We feem to have
being elfewhere as tho' th' had pafs'd in our fufpens. Next
to our shrinking selves we love sensitivas best. For they are
the Angèles. Brick, fauve, jonquil, sprig, fleet, nocturne, smiling
bruise. For they are an Angèle's garment. We will be constant
(what a word!) and bless the day, for whole hours too, yes, for
sold long syne as we shall be heing in our created being of ours
elvishness, the day you befell, you dreadful temptation! Now
promisus as at our requisted you will remain ignorant of all what
you hear and, though if whilst disrobing to the edge of risk, (the
bisifings in idolhours that satinfines tootoo!) draw a veil till we
next time! You don't want to peach but bejimboed if ye do!
Perhelps. We ernst too may. How many months or how many
years till the myriadth and first become! Bashfulness be tupped!
May he colp, may he colp her, may he mixandmass colp her!
Talk with a hare and you wake of a tartars. That's mus. Says the
Law. List! Kicky Lacey, the pervergined, and Bianca Mutantini,
her conversa, drew their fools longth finnishfurst, Herzog van
Vellentam, but me and meother ravin, my coosine of mine, have
mour good three chancers, weothers, after Bohnaparts. The
mything smile of me, my wholesole assumption, shes nowt me-
without as weam twin herewithin, that I love like myselfish, like
smithereens robinsongs, like juneses nutslost, like the blue of the
sky if I stoop for to spy's between my whiteyoumightcallimbs.
How their duel makes their triel! Eer's wax for Sur Soord, dong-
dong bollets for the iris riflers, queemswellth of coocome in their
combs for the jennyjos. Caro caressimus! Honey swarns where
mellisponds. Will bee all buzzy one another minnies for the mere
effect that you are so fuld of pollen yourself. Teomeo! Daurdour!
We feel unspeechably thoughtless over it all here in Gizzygazelle
- 239 -
Tark's bimboowood so pleasekindly communicake with the
original sinse we are only yearning as yet how to burgeon. It's
meant milliems of centiments deadlost or mislaid on them but,
master of snakes, we can sloughchange in the nip of a napple
solongas we can allsee for deedsetton your quick. By the hook
in your look we're eyed for aye were you begging the questuan
with your lutean bowl round Monkmesserag. And whenever
you're tingling in your trout we're sure to be tangled in our tice-
ments. It's game, ma chère, be offwith your shepherdress on! Up-
some cauda! Behose our handmades for the lured! To these nunce
we are but yours in ammatures yet well come that day we shall ope
to be ores. Then shalt thou see, seeing, the sight. No more hoax-
ites! Nay more gifting in mennage! A her's fancy for a his friend
and then that fellow yours after this follow ours. Vania, Vania
Vaniorum, Domne Vanias!
Hightime is ups be it down into outs according! When there
shall be foods for vermin as full as feeds for the fett, eat on earth
as there's hot in oven. When every Klitty of a scolderymeid shall
hold every yardscullion's right to stimm her uprecht for whimso-
ever, whether on privates, whather in publics. And when all us
romance catholeens shall have ones for all amanseprated. And the
world is maidfree. Methanks. So much for His Meignysthy man!
And all his bigyttens. So till Coquette to tell Cockotte to teach
Connie Curley to touch Cattie Hayre and tip Carminia to tap La
Chèrie though where the diggings he dwellst amongst us here's
nobody knows save Mary. Whyfor we go ringing hands in hands
These bright elects, consentconsorted, they were waltzing up
their willside with their princesome handsome angeline chiuff
while in those wherebus there wont bears way (mearing un-
known, a place where pigeons carry fire to seethe viands, a miry
hill, belge end sore footh) oaths and screams and bawley groans
with a belchybubhub and a hellabelow bedemmed and bediabbled
the arimaining lucisphere. Helldsdend, whelldselse! Lonedom's
breach lay foulend up uncouth not be broched by punns and
reedles. Yet the ring gayed rund rorosily with a drat for a brat
- 240 -
you. Yasha Yash ate sassage and mash. So he found he bash, poor
Yasha Yash. And you wonna make one of our micknick party.
No honaryhuest on our sposhialiste. For poor Glugger was dazed
and late in his crave, ay he, laid in his grave.
But low, boys low, he rises, shrivering, with his spittyful eyes
and his whoozebecome woice. Ephthah! Cisamis! Examen of
conscience scruples now he to the best of his memory schemado.
Nu mere for ever siden on the stolen. With his tumescinquinance
in the thight of his tumstull. No more singing all the dags in
his sengaggeng. Experssly at hand counterhand. Trinitatis kink
had mudded his dome, peccat and pent fore, pree. Hymserf,
munchaowl, maden, born of thug tribe into brood blackmail, dooly
redecant allbigenesis henesies. He, by bletchendmacht of the golls,
proforhim penance and come off enternatural. He, selfsufficiencer,
eggscumuddher-in-chaff sporticolorissimo, what though the
duthsthrows in his lavabad eyes, maketomake polentay rossum,
(Good savours queen with the stem of swuith Aftreck! Fit for
king of Zundas) out of bianconies, hiking ahake like any nudge-
meroughgorude all over Terracuta. No more throw acids, face all
lovabilities, appeal for the union and play for tirnitys. He, praise
Saint Calembaurnus, make clean breastsack of goody girl now as
ever drank milksoep from a spoen, weedhearted boy of potter and
mudder, chip of old Flinn the Flinter, twig of the hider that tanned
him. He go calaboosh all same he tell him out. Teufleuf man he
strip him all mussymussy calico blong him all same he tell him all
out how he make what name. He, through wolkenic connection,
relation belong this remarklable moliman, Anaks Andrum, parley-
glutton pure blood Jebusite, centy procent Erserum spoking.
Drugmallt storehuse. Intrance on back. Most open on the lay-
days. He, A. A., in peachskin shantungs, possible, sooth to say,
notwithstanding far former guiles and he gaining fish consider-
able, by saving grace after avalunch, to look most prophitable
out of smily skibluh eye. He repeat of him as pious alios cos he
ast for shave and haircut people said he'd shape of hegoat where
he just was sheep of herrgott with his tile togged. Top. Not true
what chronicles is bringing his portemanteau priamed full potato-
- 241 -
wards. Big dumm crumm digaditchies say short again akter, even
while lossassinated by summan, he coaxyorum a pennysilvers
offarings bloadonages with candid zuckers on Spinshesses Walk
in presents to lilithe maidinettes for at bloo his noose for him
with pruriest pollygameous inatentions, he having that pecuni-
arity ailmint spectacularly in heather cliff emurgency on gale
days because souffrant chronic from a plentitude of house torts.
Collosul rhodomantic not wert one bronze lie Scholarina say as
he, greyed vike cuddlepuller, walk in her sleep his pig indicks
weg femtyfem funts. Of so little is her timentrousnest great for
greeting his immensesness. Sutt soonas sett they were, her uyes
as his auroholes. Kaledvalch! How could one classically? One
could naught critically. Ininest lightingshaft only for lovalit
smugpipe, his Mistress Mereshame, of cupric tresses, the form-
white foaminine, the ambersandalled, after Aasdocktor Talop's
onamuttony legture. A mish, holy balm of seinsed myrries, he is
as good as a mountain and everybody what is found of his gients
he knew Meistral Wikingson, furframed Noordwogen's kampf-
ten, with complexion of blushing dolomite fanned by ozeone
brisees, what naver saw his bedshead farrer and nuver met his
swigamore, have his ignomen from prima signation of being
Master Milchku, queerest man in the benighted queendom, and,
adcraft aidant, how he found the kids. Other accuse him as
lochkneeghed forsunkener, dope in stockknob, all ameltingmoult
after rhomatism, purely simply tammy ratkins. The kurds of
Copt on the berberutters and their bedaweens! Even was Shes
whole begeds off before all his nahars in the koldbethizzdryel. No
gudth! Not one zouz! They whiteliveried ragsups, two Whales of
the Sea of Deceit, they bloodiblabstard shooters, three Drome-
daries of the Sands of Calumdonia. As is note worthies to shock
his hind! Ur greeft on them! Such askors and their ruperts they
are putting in for more osghirs is alse false liarnels. The frocken-
halted victims! Whore affirm is agains sempry Lotta Karssens.
They would lick their lenses before they would negatise a jom
petter from his sodalites. In his contrary and on reality, which
Bichop Babwith bares to his whitness in his Just a Fication of
- 242 -
Villumses, this Mr Heer Assassor Neelson, of sorestate hearing,
diseased, formarly with Adenoiks, den feed all Lighty, laxtleap
great change of retiring family buckler, highly accurect in his
everythinks, from tencents coupoll to bargain basement, live with
howthold of nummer seven, wideawake, woundabout, wokin-
betts, weeklings, in black velvet on geolgian mission senest mangy
years his rear in the lane pictures, blanking same with autonaut
and annexes and got a daarlingt babyboy bucktooth, the thick of
a gobstick, coming on ever so nerses nursely, gracies to goodess,
at 81. That why all parks up excited about his gunnfodder. That
why ecrazyaztecs and the crime ministers preaching him morn-
ings and makes a power of spoon vittles out of his praverbs. That
why he, persona erecta, glycorawman arsenicful femorniser, for
a trial by julias, in celestial sunhat, with two purses agitatating
his theopot with wokklebout shake, rather incoherend, from one
18 to one 18 biss, young shy gay youngs. Sympoly far infusing
up pritty tipidities to lock up their rhainodaisies and be nice
and twainty in the shade. Old grand tuttut toucher up of young
poetographies and he turn aroundabrupth red altfrumpishly like
hear samhar tionnor falls some make one noise. It's his last lap,
Gigantic, fare him weal! Revelation! A fact. True bill. By a jury
of matrons. Hump for humbleness, dump for dirts. And, to make
a long stoney badder and a whorly show a parfect sight, his Thing
went the wholyway retup Suffrogate Strate.
Helpmeat too, contrasta toga, his fiery goosemother, laotsey
taotsey, woman who did, he tell princes of the age about. You
sound on me, judges! Suppose we brisken up. Kings! Meet the
Mem, Avenlith, all viviparous out of couple of lizards. She just as
fenny as he is fulgar. How laat soever her latest still her sawlogs
come up all standing. Psing a psalm of psexpeans, apocryphul of
rhyme! His cheekmole of allaph foriverever her allinall and his
Kuran never teachit her the be the owner of thyself. So she not
swop her eckcot hjem for Howarden's Castle, Englandwales. But
be the alleance of iern on his flamen vestacoat, the fibule of brooch-
bronze to his wintermantle of pointefox. Who not knows she, the
Madame Cooley-Couley, spawife to laird of manna, when first
- 243 -
come into the pictures more as hundreads elskerelks' yahrds of
annams call away, factory fresh and fiuming at the mouth, wronged
by Hwemwednoget (magrathmagreeth, he takable a rap for that
early party) and whenceforward Ani Mama and her fiertey
bustles terrified of gmere gnomes of gmountains and furibound
to be back in her mytinbeddy? Schi schi, she feightened allsouls
at pignpugn and gets a pan in her stummi from the pialabellars
in their pur war. Yet jackticktating all around her about his poor-
liness due to pannellism and grime for that he harboured her when
feme sole, her zoravarn lhorde and givnergenral, and led her in
antient consort ruhm and bound her durant coverture so as she
could not steal from him, oz her or damman, so as if ever she's
beleaved by checkenbrooth death since both was parties to the
feed it's Hetman MacCumhal foots the funeral. Mealwhile she
nutre him jacent from her elmer's almsdish, giantar and tschaina
as sieme as bibrondas with Foli Signur's tinner roumanschy to
fishle the ladwigs out of his lugwags, like a skittering kitty
skattering hayels, when his favourites were all beruffled on him
and her own undesirables justickulating, it was such a blowick
day. Winden wanden wild like wenchen wenden wanton. The
why if he but would bite and plug his baccypipes and renownse
the devlins in all their pumbs and kip the streelwarkers out of
the plague and nettleses milk from sickling the honeycoombe
and kop Ulo Bubo selling foulty treepes, she would make massa
dinars with her savuneer dealinsh and delicate her nutbrown
glory cloack to Mayde Berenice and hang herself in Ostmanns-
town Saint Megan's and make no more mulierage before ma-
hatmas or moslemans, but would ondulate her shookerloft hat
from Alpoleary with a viv baselgia and a clamast apotria like any
purple cardinal's princess or woman of the grave word to the
papal legate from the Vatucum, Monsaigneur Rabbinsohn Crucis,
with an ass of milg to his cowmate and chilterlings on account
of all he quaqueduxed for the hnor of Hrom and the nations
abhord him and wop mezzo scudo to Sant Pursy Orelli that gave
Luiz-Marios Josephs their loyal devouces to be offered up missas
for vowts for widders.
- 244 -
Hear, O worldwithout! Tiny tattling! Backwoods, be wary!
Daintytrees, go dutch!
But who comes yond with pire on poletop? He who relights
our spearing torch, the moon. Bring lolave branches to mud
cabins and peace to the tents of Ceder, Neomenie! The feast of
Tubbournigglers is at hand. Shopshup. Inisfail! Timple temple
tells the bells. In syngagyng a sangasongue. For all in Ondslos-
by. And, the hag they damename Coverfew hists from her lane.
And haste, 'tis time for bairns ta hame. Chickchilds, comeho to
roo. Comehome to roo, wee chickchilds doo, when the wild-
worewolf's abroad. Ah, let's away and let's gay and let's stay
chez where the log foyer's burning!
It darkles, (tinct, tint) all this our funnaminal world. Yon
marshpond by ruodmark verge is visited by the tide. Alvem-
marea! We are circumveiloped by obscuritads. Man and belves
frieren. There is a wish on them to be not doing or anything. Or
just for rugs. Zoo koud! Drr, deff, coal lay on and, pzz, call us
pyrress! Ha. Where is our highly honourworthy salutable spouse-
founderess? The foolish one of the family is within. Haha! Huzoor,
where's he? At house, to's pitty. With Nancy Hands. Tcheetchee!
Hound through the maize has fled. What hou! Isegrim under
lolling ears. Far wol! And wheaten bells bide breathless. All. The
trail of Gill not yet is to be seen, rocksdrops, up benn, down
dell, a craggy road for rambling. Nor yet through starland that
silver sash. What era's o'ering? Lang gong late. Say long, scielo!
Sillume, see lo! Selene, sail O! Amune! Ark!? Noh?! Nought
stirs in spinney. The swayful pathways of the dragonfly spider
stay still in reedery. Quiet takes back her folded fields. Tranquille
thanks. Adew. In deerhaven, imbraced, alleged, injoynted and
unlatched, the birds, tommelise too, quail silent. ii. Luathan?
Nuathan! Was avond ere a while. Now conticinium. As Lord
the Laohun is sheutseuyes. The time of lying together will come
and the wildering of the nicht till cockeedoodle aubens Aurore.
Panther monster. Send leabarrow loads amorrow. While loevdom
shleeps. Elenfant has siang his triump, Great is Eliphas Magis-
trodontos and after kneeprayer pious for behemuth and mahamoth
- 245 -
will rest him from tusker toils. Salamsalaim! Rhinohorn isnoutso
pigfellow but him ist gonz wurst. Kikikuki. Hopopodorme. So-
beast! No chare of beagles, frantling of peacocks, no muzzing of
the camel, smuttering of apes. Lights, pageboy, lights! Brights
we'll be brights. With help of Hanoukan's lamp. When otter
leaps in outer parts then Yul remembers Mei. Her hung maid
mohns are bluming, look, to greet those loes on coast of amethyst;
arcglow's seafire siemens lure and wextward warnerforth's hooker-
crookers. And now with robby brerfox's fishy fable lissaned out,
the threads simwhat toran and knots in its antargumends, the
pesciolines in Liffeyetta's bowl have stopped squiggling about
Junoh and the whalk and feriaquintaism and pebble infinibility
and the poissission of the hoghly course. And if Lubbernabohore
laid his horker to the ribber, save the giregargoh and dabardin
going on in his mount of knowledge (munt), he would not hear
a flip flap in all Finnyland. Witchman, watch of your night? Es
voes, ez noes, nott voes, ges, noun. It goes. It does not go. Dark-
park's acoo with sucking loves. Rosimund's by her wishing well.
Soon tempt-in-twos will stroll at venture and hunt-by-threes strut
musketeering. Brace of girdles, brasse of beauys. With the width
of the way for jogjoy. Hulker's cieclest elbownunsense. Hold
hard! And his dithering dathering waltzers of. Stright! But meet-
ings mate not as forsehn. Hesperons! And if you wand to Liv-
mouth, wenderer, while Jempson's weed decks Jacqueson's Island,
here lurks, bar hellpelhullpulthebell, none iron welcome. Bing.
Bong. Bangbong. Thunderation! You took with the mulligrubs
and we lack mulsum? No sirrebob! Great goodness, no! Were
you Marely quean of Scuts or but Chrestien the Last, (our duty
to you, chris! royalty, squat!) how matt your mark, though
luked your johl, here's dapplebellied mugs and troublebedded
rooms and sawdust strown in expectoration and for ratification by
specification of your information, Mr Knight, tuntapster, buttles;
his alefru's up to his hip. And Watsy Lyke sees after all rinsings
and don't omiss Kate, homeswab homely, put in with the bricks.
A's the sign and one's the number. Where Chavvyout Chacer
calls the cup and Pouropourim stands astirrup. De oud huis bij
- 246 -
de kerkegaard. So who over comes ever for Whoopee Weeks
must put up with the Jug and Chambers.
But heed! Our thirty minutes war's alull. All's quiet on the
felled of Gorey. Between the starfort and the thornwood brass
castle flambs with mutton candles. Hushkah, a horn! Gadolmag-
tog! God es El? Housefather calls enthreateningly. From Bran-
denborgenthor. At Asa's arthre. In thundercloud periwig. With
lightning bug aflash from afinger. My souls and by jings, should
he work his jaw to give down the banks and hark from the tomb!
Ansighosa pokes in her potstill to souse at the sop be sodden
enow and to hear to all the bubbles besaying: the coming man, the
future woman, the food that is to build, what he with fifteen years
will do, the ring in her mouth of joyous guard, stars astir and
stirabout. A palashe for hirs, a saucy for hers and ladlelike spoons
for the wonner. But ein and twee were never worth three. So they
must have their final since he's on parole. Et la pau' Leonie has the
choice of her lives between Josephinus and Mario-Louis for who
is to wear the lily of Bohemey, Florestan, Thaddeus, Hardress or
Myles. And lead raptivity captive. Ready! Like a Finn at a fair.
Now for la belle! Icy-la-Belle!
The campus calls them. Ninan ninan, the gattling gan! Childs
will be wilds. 'Twastold. And vamp, vamp, vamp, the girls are
merchand. The horseshow magnete draws his field and don't the
fillyings fly? Educande of Sorrento, they newknow knowwell
their Vico's road. Arranked in their array and flocking for the
fray on that old orangeray, Dolly Brae. For these are not on
terms, they twain, bartrossers, since their baffle of Whatalose
when Adam Leftus and the devil took our hindmost, gegifting
her with his painapple, nor will not be atoned at all in fight to
no finish, that dark deed doer, this wellwilled wooer, Jerkoff and
Eatsoup, Yem or Yan, while felixed is who culpas does and harm's
worth healing and Brune is bad French for Jour d'Anno. Tiggers
and Tuggers they're all for tenzones. Bettlimbraves. For she must
walk out. And it must be with who. Teaseforhim. Toesforhim.
Tossforhim. Two. Else there is danger of. Solitude.
Postreintroducing Jeremy, the chastenot coulter, the flowing
- 247 -
taal that brooks no brooking runs on to say how, as it was
mutualiter foretold of him by a timekiller to his spacemaker, velos
ambos and arubyat knychts, with their tales within wheels and
stucks between spokes, on the hike from Elmstree to Stene and
back, how, running awage with the use of reason (sics) and
ramming amok at the brake of his voice (secs), his lasterhalft
was set for getting the besterwhole of his yougendtougend, for
control number thrice was operating the subliminal of his invaded
personality. He nobit smorfi and go poltri and let all the tondo
gang bola del ruffo. Barto no know him mor. Eat larto altruis
with most perfect stranger.
Boo, you're through!
Hoo, I'm true!
Men, teacan a tea simmering, hamo mavrone kerry O?
Kod knows. Anything ruind. Meetingless.
He wept indeiterum. With such a tooth he seemed to love his
wee tart when abuy. Highly momourning he see the before him.
Melained from nape to kneecap though vied from her girders up.
Holy Santalto, cursing saint, sight most deletious to ross up the
spyballs like exude of margary! And how him it heaviered that
eyerim rust! An they bare falls witless against thee how slight
becomes a hidden wound? Soldwoter he wash him all time big-
feller bruisy place blong him. He no want missies blong all boy
other look bruisy place blong him. Hence. It will paineth the
chastenot in that where of his whence he had loseth his once for
every, even though mode grow moramor maenneritsch and the
Tarara boom decay. Immaculacy, give but to drink to his shirt
and all skirtaskortas must change her tunics. So warred he from
first to last, forebanned and betweenly, a smuggler for lifer. Lift
the blank ve veered as heil! Split the hvide and aye seize heaven!
He knows for he's seen it in black and white through his eye-
trompit trained upon jenny's and all that sort of thing which is
dandymount to a clearobscure. Prettimaid tints may try their
taunts: apple, bacchante, custard, dove, eskimo, feldgrau, hema-
tite, isingglass, jet, kipper, lucile, mimosa, nut, oysterette, prune,
- 248 -
quasimodo, royal, sago, tango, umber, vanilla, wisteria, xray,
yesplease, zaza, philomel, theerose. What are they all by? Shee.
If you nude her in her prime, make sure you find her comple-
mentary or, on your very first occasion, by Angus Dagdasson
and all his piccions, she'll prick you where you're proudest with
her unsatt speagle eye. Look sharp, she's signalling from among
the asters. Turn again, wistfultone, lode mere of Doubtlynn!
Arise, Land-under-Wave! Clap your lingua to your pallet, drop
your jowl with a jolt, tambourine until your breath slides, pet a
pout and it's out. Have you got me, Allysloper?
My top it was brought Achill's low, my middle I ope before
you, my bottom's a vulser if ever there valsed and my whole the
flower that stars the day and is solly well worth your pilger's
fahrt. Where there's a hitch, a head of things, let henker's halter
hang the halunkenend. For I see through your weapon. That
cry's not Cucullus. And his eyelids are painted. If my tutor here
is cut out for an oldeborre I'm Flo, shy of peeps, you know. But
when he beetles backwards, ain't I fly? Pull the boughpee to see
how we sleep. Bee Peep! Peepette! Would you like that lump of
a tongue for lungeon or this Turkey's delighter, hys hyphen
mys? My bellyswain's a twalf whulerusspower though he knows
as much how to man a wife as Dunckle Dalton of matching wools.
Shake hands through the thicketloch! Sweet swanwater! My
other is mouthfilled. This kissing wold's full of killing fellows
kneeling voyantly to the cope of heaven. And somebody's com-
ing, I feel for a fect. I've a seeklet to sell thee if old Deanns won't
be threaspanning. When you'll next have the mind to retire to
be wicked this is as dainty a way as any. Underwoods spells bush-
ment's business. So if you sprig poplar you're bound to twig this.
'Twas my lord of Glendalough benedixed the gape for me that
time at Long Entry, commanding the approaches to my intimast
innermost. Look how they're browthered! Six thirteens at
Blanche de Blanche's of 3 Behind Street and 2 Turnagain Lane.
Awabeg is my callby, Magnus here's my Max, Wonder One's my
cipher and Seven Sisters is my nighbrood. Radouga, Rab will ye
na pick them in their pink of panties. You can colour up till you're
- 249 -
prawn while I go squirt with any cockle. When here who adolls
me infuxes sleep. But if this could see with its backsight he'd
be the grand old greeneyed lobster. He's my first viewmarc since
Valentine. Wink's the winning word.
In the house of breathings lies that word, all fairness. The walls
are of rubinen and the glittergates of elfinbone. The roof herof is
of massicious jasper and a canopy of Tyrian awning rises and
still descends to it. A grape cluster of lights hangs therebeneath
and all the house is filled with the breathings of her fairness, the
fairness of fondance and the fairness of milk and rhubarb and the
fairness of roasted meats and uniomargrits and the fairness of
promise with consonantia and avowals. There lies her word, you
reder! The height herup exalts it and the lowness her down aba-
seth it. It vibroverberates upon the tegmen and prosplodes from
pomoeria. A window, a hedge, a prong, a hand, an eye, a sign, a
head and keep your other augur on her paypaypay. And you have
it, old Sem, pat as ah be seated! And Sunny, my gander, he's
coming to land her. The boy which she now adores. She dores.
Oh backed von dem zug! Make weg for their tug!
With a ring ding dong, they raise clasped hands and advance
more steps to retire to the saum. Curtsey one, curtsey two, with
arms akimbo, devotees.
I rose up one maypole morning and saw in my glass how
nobody loves me but you. Ugh. Ugh.
All point in the shem direction as if to shun.
My name is Misha Misha but call me Toffey Tough. I
mean Mettenchough. It was her, boy the boy that was loft in the
larch. Ogh! Ogh!
They pretend to helf while they simply shauted at him sauce to
make hims prich. And ith ith noth cricquette, Sally Lums. Not
by ever such a lot. Twentynines of bloomers gegging een man
- 250 -
arose. Avis was there and trilled her about it. She's her sex, for
certain. So to celebrate the occasion:
Willest thou rossy banders havind?
He simules to be tight in ribbings round his rumpffkorpff.
Are you Swarthants that's hit on a shorn stile?
He makes semblant to be swiping their chimbleys.
Can you ajew ajew fro' Sheidam?
He finges to be cutting up with a pair of sissers and to be buy-
tings of their maidens and spitting their heads into their facepails.
So now be hushy, little pukers! Side here roohish, cleany fug-
lers! Grandicellies, all stay zitty! Adultereux, rest as befour! For
you've jollywelly dawdled all the day. When ye coif tantoncle's
hat then'll be largely temts for that. Yet's the time for being now,
For a burning would is come to dance inane. Glamours hath
moidered's lieb and herefore Coldours must leap no more. Lack
breath must leap no more.
Lel lols for libelman libling his lore. Lolo Lolo liebermann you
loved to be leaving Libnius. Lift your right to your Liber Lord.
Link your left to your lass of liberty. Lala Lala, Leapermann,
your lep's but a loop to lee.
A fork of hazel o'er the field in vox the verveine virgins ode.
If you cross this rood as you roamed the rand I'm blessed but
you'd feel him a blasting rod. Behind, me, frees from evil smells!
Perdition stinks before us.
Aghatharept they fleurelly to Nebnos will and Rosocale. Twice
is he gone to quest of her, thrice is she now to him. So see we so
as seed we sow. And their prunktqueen kilt her kirtles up and
set out. And her troup came heeling, O. And what do you think
that pride was drest in! Voolykins' diamondinah's vestin. For ever
they scent where air she went. While all the fauns' flares widens
wild to see a floral's school.
Led by Lignifer, in four hops of the happiest, ach beth cac duff,
a marrer of the sward incoronate, the few fly the farbetween!
We haul minymony on that piebold nig. Will any tubble dabble
- 251 -
on the bay? Nor far jocubus? Nic for jay? Attilad! Attattilad! Get
up, Goth's scourge on you! There's a visitation in your implu-
vium. Hun! Hun!
He stanth theirs mun in his natural, oblious autamnesically
of his very proprium, (such is stockpot leaden, so did sonsepun
crake) the wont to be wanton maid a will to be wise. Thrust from
the light, apophotorejected, he spoors loves from her heats. He
blinkth. But's wrath's the higher where those wreathe charity.
For all of these have been thisworlders, time liquescing into state,
pitiless age grows angelhood. Though, as he stehs, most anysing
may befallhim from a song of a witch to the totter of Blackarss,
given a fammished devil, a young sourceress and (eternal con-
junction) the permission of overalls with the cuperation of night-
shirt. If he spice east he seethes in sooth and if he pierce north
he wilts in the waist. And what wonder with the murkery vice-
heid in the shade? The specks on his lapspan are his foul deed
thougths, wishmarks of mad imogenation. Take they off! Make
the off! But Funnylegs are leanly. A bimbamb bum! They vain
would convert the to be hers in the word. Gush, they wooed!
Gash, they're fair ripecherry!
As for she could shake him. An oaf, no more. Still he'd be
good tutor two in his big armschair lerningstoel and she be
waxen in his hands. Turning up and fingering over the most dan-
tellising peaches in the lingerous longerous book of the dark.
Look at this passage about Galilleotto! I know it is difficult but
when your goche I go dead. Turn now to this patch upon Smac-
chiavelluti! Soot allours, he's sure to spot it! 'Twas ever so in
monitorology since Headmaster Adam became Eva Harte's
toucher, in omnibus moribus et temporibus, with man's mischief
in his mind whilst her pupils swimmed too heavenlies, let his be
exaspirated, letters be blowed! I is a femaline person. O, of pro-
vocative gender. U unisingular case.
Which is why trumpers are mixed up in duels and here's B.
Rohan meets N. Ohlan for the prize of a thou.
But listen to the mocking birde to micking barde making bared!
We've heard it aye since songdom was gemurrmal. As he was
- 252 -
queering his shoolthers. So was I. And as I was cleansing my
fausties. So was he. And as way ware puffiing our blowbags.
Come, thrust! Go, parry! Dvoinabrathran, dare. The mad
long ramp of manchind's parlements, the learned lacklearning,
merciless as wonderful.
Now may Saint Mowy of the Pleasant Grin be your ever-
glass and even prospect!
And may Saint Jerome of the Harlots' Curse make family
three of you which is much abedder!
Grassy ass ago.
And each was wrought with his other. And his continence fell.
The bivitellines, Metellus and Ametallikos, her crown pretenders,
obscindgemeinded biekerers, varying directly, uruseye each oxes-
other, superfetated (never cleaner of lamps frowned fiercelier on
anointer of hinges), while their treegrown girls, king's game, if
he deign so, are in such transfusion just to know twigst timidy
twomeys, for gracious sake, who is artthoudux from whose
heterotropic, the sleepy or the glouch, for, shyly bawn and
showly nursured, exceedingly nice girls can strike exceedingly
bad times unless so richtly chosen's by (what though of riches
he have none and hope dashes hope on his heart's horizon) to gar
their great moments greater. The thing is he must be put strait
on the spot, no mere waterstichystuff in a selfmade world that
you can't believe a word he's written in, not for pie, but one's
only owned by naturel rejection. Charley, you're my darwing!
So sing they sequent the assent of man. Till they go round if
they go roundagain before breakparts and all dismissed. They
keep. Step keep. Step. Stop. Who is Fleur? Where is Ange? Or
Creedless, croonless hangs his haughty. There end no moe red
devil in the white of his eye. Braglodyte him do a katadupe! A con-
damn quondam jontom sick af a suckbut! He does not know how
his grandson's grandson's grandson's grandson will stammer up
- 253 -
in Peruvian for in the ersebest idiom I have done it equals I so
shall do. He dares not think why the grandmother of the grand-
mother of his grandmother's grandmother coughed Russky with
suchky husky accent since in the mouthart of the slove look at
me now means I once was otherwise. Nor that the mappamund
has been changing pattern as youth plays moves from street to
street since time and races were and wise ants hoarded and saute-
relles were spendthrifts, no thing making newthing wealthshow-
ever for a silly old Sol, healthytobedder and latewiser. Nor that the
turtling of a London's alderman is ladled out by the waggerful to
the regionals of pigmyland. His part should say in honour bound:
So help me symethew, sammarc, selluc and singin, I will stick to
you, by gum, no matter what, bite simbum, and in case of the
event coming off beforehand even so you was to release me for
the sake of the other cheap girl's baby's name plaster me but I
will pluckily well pull on the buckskin gloves! But Noodynaady's
actual ingrate tootle is of come into the garner mauve and thy
nice are stores of morning and buy me a bunch of iodines.
Evidentament he has failed as tiercely as the deuce before for
she is wearing none of the three. And quite as patenly there is a
hole in the ballet trough which the rest fell out. Because to ex-
plain why the residue is, was, or will not be, according to the
eighth axiom, proceeded with, namely, since ever apart that gos-
san duad, so sure as their's a patch on a pomelo, this yam ham in
never live could, the shifting about of the lassies, the tug of love
of their lads ending with a great deal of merriment, hoots,
screams, scarf drill, cap fecking, ejaculations of aurinos, reecho-
able mirthpeals and general thumbtonosery (Myama's a yaung
yaung cauntry), one must recken with the sudden and gigant-
esquesque appearance unwithstandable as a general election in
Barnado's bearskin amongst the brawlmiddle of this village chil-
dergarten of the largely longsuffering laird of Lucanhof.
But, vrayedevraye Blankdeblank, god of all machineries and
tomestone of Barnstaple, by mortisection or vivisuture, splitten
up or recompounded, an isaac jacquemin mauromormo milesian,
how accountibus for him, moreblue?
- 254 -
Was he pitssched for an ensemple as certain have dognosed of
him against our seawall by Rurie, Thoath and Cleaver, those
three stout sweynhearts, Orion of the Orgiasts, Meereschal Mac-
Muhun, the Ipse dadden, product of the extremes giving quoti-
dients to our means, as might occur to anyone, your brutest
layaman with the princest champion in our archdeaconry, or so
yclept from Clio's clippings, which the chroncher of chivalries
is sulpicious save he scan, for ancients link with presents as the
human chain extends, have done, do and will again as John, Poly-
carp and Irenews eye-to-eye ayewitnessed and to Paddy Palmer,
while monks sell yew to archers or the water of the livvying
goes the way of all fish from Sara's drawhead, the corralsome, to
Isaac's, the lauphed butt one, with her minnelisp extorreor to his
moanolothe inturned? So Perrichon with Bastienne or heavy
Humph with airy Nan, Ricqueracqbrimbillyjicqueyjocqjolicass?
How sowesthow, dullcisamica? A and aa ab ad abu abiad. A
babbel men dub gulch of tears.
The mar of murmury mermers to the mind's ear, uncharted
rock, evasive weed. Only the caul knows his thousandfirst name,
Hocus Crocus, Esquilocus, Finnfinn the Faineant, how feel full
foes in furrinarr! Doth it not all come aft to you, puritysnooper,
in the way television opes longtimes ofter when Potollomuck
Sotyr or Sourdanapplous the Lollapaloosa? The charges are, you
will remember, the chances are, you won't; bit it's old Joe, the
Java Jane, older even than Odam Costollo, and we are recur-
rently meeting em, par Mahun Mesme, in cycloannalism, from
space to space, time after time, in various phases of scripture as
in various poses of sepulture. Greets Godd, Groceries! Merodach!
Defend the King! Hoet of the rough throat attack but whose say
is soft but whose ee has a cute angle, he whose hut is a hissarlik
even as her hennin's aspire. And insodaintily she's a quine of selm
ashaker while as a murder of corpse when his magot's up he's
the best berrathon sanger in all the aisles of Skaldignavia. As who
shall hear. For now at last is Longabed going to be gone to, that
more than man, prince of Bunnicombe of wide roadsterds, the
herblord the gillyflowrets so fain fan to flatter about. Artho is the
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name is on the hero, Capellisato, shoehanded slaughterer of the
shader of our leaves.
Attach him! Hold!
Yet stir thee, to clay, Tamor!
Why wilt thou erewaken him from his earth, O summonor-
other: he is weatherbitten from the dusts of ages? The hour of his
closing hies to hand; the tocsin that shall claxonise his ware-
abouts. If one who remembered his webgoods and tealofts were
to ask of a hooper for whose it was the storks were quitting
Aquileyria, this trundler would not wot; if other who joined faith
when his depth charge bombed our barrel spillway were to !
Jehosophat, what doom is here! Rain ruth on them, sire! The
wing of Moykill cover him! The Bulljon Bossbrute quarantee
him! Calavera, caution! Slaves to Virtue, save his Veritotem!
Bearara Tolearis, procul abeat! The Ivorbonegorer of Danamara-
ca be, his Hector Protector! Woldomar with Vasa, peel your
peeps! And try to saviourise the nights of labour to the order of
our blooding worold! While Pliny the Younger writes to Pliny
the Elder his calamolumen of contumellas, what Aulus Gellius
picked on Micmacrobius and what Vitruvius pocketed from
Cassiodorus. Like we larnt from that Buke of Lukan in Dublin's
capital, Kongdam Coombe. Even if you are the kooper of the
winkel over measure never lost a licence. Nor a duckindonche
divulse from hath and breakfast. And for the honour of Alcohol
drop that you-know-what-I've-come-about-I-saw-your-act air!
Punch may be pottleproud but his Judy's a wife's wit better.
For the producer (Mr John Baptister Vickar) caused a deep
abuliousness to descend upon the Father of Truants and, at a side
issue, pluterpromptly brought on the scene the cutletsized con-
sort, foundling filly of fortyshilling fostertailor and shipman's
shopahoyden, weighing ten pebble ten, scaling five footsy five
and spanning thirtyseven inchettes round the good companions,
twentynine ditties round the wishful waistress, thirtyseven alsos
round the answer to everything, twentythree of the same round
each of the quis separabits, fourteen round the beginning of hap-
piness and nicely nine round her shoed for slender.
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And eher you could pray mercy to goodness or help with your
hokey or mehokeypoo, Gallus's hen has collared her pullets.
That's where they have owreglias for. Their bone of contention,
flesh to their thorns, prest as Prestissima, makes off in a thinkling
(and not one hen only nor two hens neyther but every blessed
brigid came aclucking and aclacking), while, a rum a rum, the
ram of all harns, Bier, Wijn, Spirituosen for consumption on the
premises, advokaat withouten pleaders, Mas marrit, Pas poulit,
Ras ruddist of all, though flamifestouned from galantifloures, is
hued and cried of each's colour.
Home all go. Halome. Blare no more ramsblares, oddmund
barkes! And cease your fumings, kindalled bushies! And sherri-
goldies yeassymgnays; your wildeshaweshowe moves swiftly
sterneward! For here the holy language. Soons to come. To
'Tis goed. Het best.
For they are now tearing, that is, teartoretorning. Too soon
are coming tasbooks and goody, hominy bread and bible bee,
with jaggery-yo to juju-jaw, Fine's French phrases from the
Grandmere des Grammaires and bothered parsenaps from the
Four Massores, Mattatias, Marusias, Lucanias, Jokinias, and what
happened to our eleven in thirtytwo antepostdating the Valgur
Eire and why is limbo where is he and what are the sound waves
saying ceased ere they all wayed wrong and Amnist anguished
axes Collis and where fishngaman fetched the mongafesh from
and whatfor paddybird notplease rancoon and why was Sindat
sitthing on him sitbom like a saildior, with what the doc did in the
doil, not to mention define the hydraulics of common salt and,
its denier crid of old provaunce, where G.P.O. is zentrum and
D.U.T.C. are radients write down by the frequency of the scores
and crores of your refractions the valuations in the pice of ding-
gyings on N.C.R. and S.C.R.
That little cloud, a nibulissa, still hangs isky. Singabed sulks
before slumber. Light at night has an alps on his druckhouse.
Thick head and thin butter or after you with me. Caspi, but
gueroligue stings the air. Gaylegs to riot of us! Gallocks to lafft!
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What is amaid today todo? So angelland all weeping bin that Izzy
most unhappy is. Fain Essie fie onhapje? laughs her stella's vispirine.
While, running about their ways, going and coming, now at
rhimba rhomba, now in trippiza trappaza, pleating a pattern Gran
Geamatron showed them of gracehoppers, auntskippers and coney-
farm leppers, they jeerilied along, durian gay and marian maid-
cap, lou Dariou beside la Matieto, all boy more all girl singout-
feller longa house blong store Huddy, whilest nin nin nin nin that
Boorman's clock, a winny on the tinny side, ninned nin nin nin
nin, about old Father Barley how he got up of a morning arley
and he met with a plattonem blondes named Hips and Haws and
fell in with a fellows of Trinity some header Skowood Shaws like
(You'll catch it, don't fret, Mrs Tummy Lupton! Come indoor,
Scoffynosey, and shed your swank!) auld Daddy Deacon who
could stow well his place of beacon but he never could hold his
kerosene's candle to (The nurse'll give it you, stickypots! And you
wait, my lasso, fecking the twine!) bold Farmer Burleigh who
wuck up in a hurlywurly where he huddly could wuddle to wal-
low his weg tillbag of the baker's booth to beg of (You're well
held now, Missy Cheekspeer, and your panto's off! Fie, for shame,
Ruth Wheatacre, after all the booz said!) illed Diddiddy Achin
for the prize of a pease of bakin with a pinch of the panch of the
ponch in jurys for (Ah, crabeyes, I have you, showing off to the
world with that gape in your stocking!) Wold Forrester Farley
who, in deesperation of deispiration at the diasporation of his
diesparation, was found of the round of the sound of the lound
of the. Lukkedoerendunandurraskewdylooshoofermoyportertoo-
The play thou schouwburgst, Game, here endeth. The curtain
drops by deep request.
Gonn the gawds, Gunnar's gustspells. When the h, who the
hu, how the hue, where the huer? Orbiter onswers: lots lives
lost. Fionia is fed up with Fidge Fudgesons. Sealand snorres.
- 258 -
Rendningrocks roguesreckning reigns. Gwds with gurs are
gttrdmmrng. Hlls vlls. The timid hearts of words all exeomno-
sunt. Mannagad, lammalelouh, how do that come? By Dad, youd
not heed that fert? Fulgitudes ejist rowdownan tonuout. Quoq!
And buncskleydoodle! Kidoosh! Of their fear they broke, they
ate wind, they fled; where they ate there they fled; of their fear
they fled, they broke away. Go to, let us extol Azrael with our
harks, by our brews, on our jambses, in his gaits. To Mezou-
zalem with the Dephilim, didits dinkun's dud? Yip! Yup! Yar-
rah! And let Nek Nekulon extol Mak Makal and let him say
unto him: Immi ammi Semmi. And shall not Babel be with
Lebab? And he war. And he shall open his mouth and answer:
I hear, O Ismael, how they laud is only as my loud is one. If
Nekulon shall be havonfalled surely Makal haven hevens. Go to,
let us extell Makal, yea, let us exceedingly extell. Though you
have lien amung your posspots my excellency is over Ismael.
Great is him whom is over Ismael and he shall mekanek of Mak
Nakulon. And he deed.
For the Clearer of the Air from on high has spoken in tumbul-
dum tambaldam to his tembledim tombaldoom worrild and, mogu-
phonoised by that phonemanon, the unhappitents of the earth
have terrerumbled from fimament unto fundament and from
tweedledeedumms down to twiddledeedees.
Loud, hear us!
Loud, graciously hear us!
Now have thy children entered into their habitations. And
nationglad, camp meeting over, to shin it, Gov be thanked! Thou
hast closed the portals of the habitations of thy children and thou
hast set thy guards thereby, even Garda Didymus and Garda
Domas, that thy children may read in the book of the opening of
the mind to light and err not in the darkness which is the after-
thought of thy nomatter by the guardiance of those guards which
are thy bodemen, the cheeryboyum chirryboth with the kerry-
bommers in their krubeems, Pray-your-Prayers Timothy and
- 259 -
Till tree from tree, tree among trees, tree over tree become
stone to stone, stone between stones, stone under stone for ever.
O Loud, hear the wee beseech of thees of each of these thy un-
litten ones! Grant sleep in hour's time, O Loud!
That they take no chill. That they do ming no merder. That
they shall not gomeet madhowiatrees.
Loud, heap miseries upon us yet entwine our arts with laugh-
Ha he hi ho hu.